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Fear of sex

By March 28, 2011 - 6:18am
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Its three months since i have been married.But i havnt allowed my husband to penetrate my vagina.I am afraid about the pain and whether i will be able to bear that.I end up with tears each time he tried.And he would postpone seeing my fear.i donno wat to do.Feel like,shouldnt have been married and spoiled his life.i am afraid of physical pain.Even though i havnt had sex ,i use to think of how i am going to carry a baby and bear labor pain.I cant express such fear to anyone.Am i having mental disorder.i think i am not normal.I donno wat to do.

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Of course you want to do right by your marriage to your husband. Please let us know how you do as you continue on your journey with this. Let us know what works, if you are comfortable. You deserve to be happy and in a secure relationship.
Take care~

March 28, 2011 - 2:07pm
(reply to Christine Jeffries)

Sure ma'am...........

March 28, 2011 - 8:26pm

Hi Padupriya,
Thank you for your question and for joining EmpowHER. Would you be willing to talk with a doctor about your fear of sex? They may be able to help you, or refer you to a therapist who could help you get to the bottom of why you are so fearful of the perceived pain. I can tell you from experience that sex can be quite enjoyable if you relax and let yourself go--get into the moment, and don't think about any pain. Just think of the togetherness with your husband, and how much you love him. You also can use aids like a water-based lubricant to help make things less abrasive. Another idea, you may want to try being on top, that way you are in control, and can ease yourself into the penetration at your speed, rather than waiting for him to do it and anticipating. Your husband also may love you taking control. :)
A doctor, though, would be your best resource for suggestions and medical information. Also, open communication with your husband will help strengthen your bond with him, and help those moments when you are intimate to be really enjoyable. You owe it to yourself, and the health of your marriage to get this taken care of. Take control, and see if you can get past this. I think you will be amazed and wonder why you took so long to do something about it once you get over this hurdle.
Good luck, and let us know how you're doing.
Here is a similar ASK that may provide some insight: How to Remove Fear of Pain of First Intercourse?

March 28, 2011 - 6:34am
(reply to Christine Jeffries)

Thanku ma'am for ur reply.I want to be a good wife to my husband in all means.Hope i can get rid of my fear and give him all happiness in my life.

March 28, 2011 - 10:14am
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