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He has trouble getting / staying hard.

By February 26, 2009 - 6:57pm
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My boyfriend and I have been together for about 5 months. At first for protection we used condoms but he couldn't stay hard with one on. After that we tried anal instead but I really don't enjoy that at all. So I went on birth control. Now most of the time it's not hard for him to get an erection, he just has trouble sustaining it. It also takes him a reallly long time to come. Is there anything I can do to help him?

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EmpowHER Guest

healthystrokes.com he might have something called tms

March 11, 2009 - 10:44am
EmpowHER Guest

hes 16 and he definitely seems very happy all the time. Hes not on any medication at all.

March 1, 2009 - 8:37pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

My boyfriend is having the same problem and he is just two years older than yours. I thought that maybe he was intimidated because I'm more experienced than him being a few years older than he is and all. So the whole stress and anxiety thing makes sense. I definately agree with going back to the basics. My boyfriend and I have done that for the past few weeks now so when we decide to become "active" again maybe things will be better.

March 3, 2009 - 7:11pm
(reply to Anonymous)

Have you read any of the links I provided above? Tell me what you think about that information.

What about what Alysia mentioned: not having intercourse for a while, and going back to the basics: cuddling, kissing, making out, teasing, etc, etc. Play a game with seeing how aroused you can make each other without having intercourse. It could help you "explore" each other, it is very intimate and there is no performance anxiety/pressure.

Let us know what you think of these ideas...what have you tried? Has he talked with you about this?

March 1, 2009 - 9:17pm
EmpowHER Guest

I dated a guy who had this problem when he was depressed. He went to a psychiatrist and started taking medication, and that helped a lot. If there's a chance your boyfriend could be struggling with undiagnosed depression, he should look into counseling/medication. That being said, if he's already on some type of medication (for anything, not just depression), that could be causing the sexual side effects. He should talk to a doctor, for sure. There's usually a way around these negative side effects, and this could really put a damper on his self esteem, and your relationship.

March 1, 2009 - 10:41am

I am wondering what his age is as well.

Here are some helpful Q&A's from The Kinsey Institute:
- How Can I Keep My Erection with a Condom?
- Can Stress Really Effect a Man's Erection?

March 1, 2009 - 8:42am
EmpowHER Guest

It sounds like he should see a urologist. How old is he?

February 27, 2009 - 9:21am

Relax, you two might be experiencing a lot of anxiety about performance. Foreplay, eliminating any distractions, learning what you each like helps your lovemaking more enjoyable.

February 26, 2009 - 9:10pm
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