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He never wants to be sexual or even show affection, why??

By June 26, 2011 - 11:24pm
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My fiance and i have been together for over 10 years, we had a short term separation and before that we had a wonderful sex life but since we got back together its been awful. He never wants to be together, nor even show any affection towards me. Our sex problem started just before we separated and i think that was part of the reason we separated; he has a fetish that i am willing to do with him on occasion but it turned into every time we were together and i hated it. I explained it to him how i felt and told him i didn't mind if it was occasionally but not all the time and after that is when our sex life declined and now its to nothing at all. I know he can perform if he wanted to so i know its not E.D. We aren't young but we surely aren't old by any means. I just want to feel loved and have him show me in sexual ways and in every day life. What can i do to try and fix this disaster before we get married???

Add a Comment3 Comments

Hi ladyryder,

I'm sorry you are going through this right now. Unfortunately, if you are marrying this man-- this needs to be addressed. Sex is not everything in a relationship, but it is extremely important because a bad sex life can lead to cheating, distancing, and physical/emotional separation. All the little (and big) quirks of your relationship need to be addressed prior to tying the knot because believe it or not, once you are married, different issues will surface.

Come together as a couple to find a solution or at the very least a happy medium for your sex life. I am sure that together you guys can come to an agreement which will keep both of you happy.

Best wishes,


June 27, 2011 - 7:57am
(reply to Rosa Cabrera RN)

thank-you Rosa,
I am concerned about this very deeply; and with all my friends i have seen that after marriage there is other problems that is the reason why i am seeking any advise on this major issue so we can conquer any thing else that arrives in our many years together. I plan on talking to him about going to counseling but im not sure he will. I honestly believe it has to do with his fetish and me not liking it like he does; but that is something we have to figure out together.

thanks again,

June 27, 2011 - 11:01pm
(reply to ladyryder)


Even if this issue is linked to his fetish, counseling is a great idea if he is willing to try to work things out. I really hope he does, for the sake of your upcoming wedding and marriage.

Keep us updated :)


June 28, 2011 - 6:48am
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