We have been together for ten years. I broke up with him and moved cities. He lives with me now cos he needed my help. It wont be for very long, that was my arrangement with him. I love him and find him attractive. He is a good lover, the best I,ve ever had actually. I was willing to let him go cos we are not compatible outside the bedroom. It was hard but I did it. Then he asked for my help, & I could not refuse, the fact that I wasnt having good sex without him(couldve been a contributing factor). He takes me for granted as usual. Always finding all women everywhere very intriguing. My question is... How do I possibly keep my self esteem intact. he trys to break it all the time. During the ten years of heartbreak, I tried to maintain a good self esteem, but now I am so tired. I dont care for the dynamics of the relationship, it is messed up and he will move out soon(it is unspoken between us). We are both playing house I think. Also we have both been unfaithful during our seperation. I do not wish to make a life with him, I just need to maintain a good self esteem in the interim if I want to be sane. I do love him, but he is not good for me. I have to let him go again soon. Its cruel for me, but laso the best thing for me.
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