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To start off I am a very sexual 26 years young woman and he is 30 and not so sexual. We have been together for year and half now and in the beginning our sex life was pretty great. Over the last 9 months or so the sex is very few and far between. I would prefer sex everyday but do not expect that from him nor demand it of him. I would say something to him after couple weeks would go by and I couldnt stand feeling upset anymore but it woould always end the same. He would apologize after we fought and a day or so after then we would have sex. He just never seems to be in the mood and he always makes me feel as though he could really care less about sex. In the beginning he almost did want anything to do with me because he thought I was a prude because I would reciprocate his sexual advances while in the process of getting to know him. I have often found stuff on his computer browse history, so I know he looks at porn online and obviously gets 'friendly' with himself. We have had our problems in our relationship nothing big but he is just starting to really take our relationship seriously and doing some really hard work to fix some problems. Hes showing me more appriciation now, more then he ever has. Then out of nowhere and on the ending of a sexless 3 day weekend I get upset becuase again we dont have sex when I had been anticatapting it all weekend, he tells me that the truth is my weight is a problem for him. I know he has 'been with' woman way larger then myself before. I have never been told my weight was a problem for anyone but after almost 2 years its a problem for him? He acts extremely jealous when other guys look at me as though they want me, but why if he doesnt 'want' me? After he said that to me I cried myself to sleep that night and he acts like everything is perfect after that, like he didnt just crush me. He almost seem relieved like now that he said that hes off the hook for good because now I wont want sex from him.* IF* I did allow myself somehow to have sex with him, I dont think that I could. I think I would feel like he was only doing it to shut me up or keep me from sleeping with someone else and while he was having sex with me I would feel like it was pure torture for him. Where does that leave us now because I think he is doing the 'Love Dare' on me to try to work on us. Does he really love me if he doesnt want to have sex with me? I thought when you really love soemone you dont see the flaws. I thought the sexual attraction was on a deeper level then just the outside. Afterall I dont see his massive amounts of back hair and his bald head when we have sex.... I want him just as much as I did the first time. Please, any advice at all would be great! Thank you :)
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I feel the same way you do. Together for 4 years, married for 2 this coming November 2016. We didn't have sex on our Honeymoon....at all! We don't have sex on our long weekends, or when we take trips out of town. He masturbates all the time to woman who look nothing like me, but he's always too tired to have sex with me. I can have sex every day, but I wouldn't even dare ask him for it that often. When I am literally begging for sex, he just doesn't care, and claims I just want sex more than him. If we happen to have sex once a month, he always looks away, he never kisses me and just lays there. I am ready to leave him last week. I love the man he is, but I hate the husband that he is. I am so hurt, that I feel numb to everything. It has consumed me, and I feel like I'm less than a mother, and a wife because I just don't have the energy to be happy. I'm so frustrated, I feel this post is even confusing because I'm just crying and typing, crying and typing, not spell checking, not caring about anything. How can my husband love me, when I don't even feel like he likes me. I hate myself, and starting to hate hi, too.
October 6, 2016 - 6:58amThis Comment
First of all, please know you aren't alone in this. So many women are in the same boat.
October 6, 2016 - 9:29amI blame the rampant amount of porn available and distorted fantasy body image that society deems attractive.
My BF puts a pillow over his head during sex. How's that for insulting?
I'm sad and confused all the time. He doesn't even want to cuddle with me anymore. I don't understand why I stay.
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I have been in Love with my Best Friend and we've been together for almost two years now. I've realized that Sex is a very big Important Thing to me... He doesn't want it anymore. I feel like I'm begging him so I quit asking him or saying anything at all....
October 17, 2016 - 10:49pmThe worst part for me is that he has quite a reputation for being good in bed but I never saw him that way until I fell in love with him. No, he's not the Biggest or anything but I LOVE HIM UNCONDITIONALLY! When we do have sex it's when he wants it, not me!!! I feel sad and alone a lot of the time.
He said he's never loved anyone as much as he loves me. He said it's not just Physical but he Emotionally Loves me. Can that be True? I don't know and would appreciate some Feedback when someone gets the chance please?
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Please dont hurt yourself i am sure your children love you very much and dont want to be without a mum. I am sure you will find someone who loves you for who you are and find you attractive. Will pray for you.
June 30, 2016 - 4:03pmThis Comment
I know how you feel. My partner admitted to me he didn't find me attractive when I was pregnant. Which I knew because he was so distant and really made me feel awful. I wanted to rip my skin off. Since having my daughter we have had sex once she is now 3 months old. Which helped me realise it was not me it's him. How dare he make me feel unwanted when I'm carrying his child. I've had to finish the relationship and concentrate on myself. I feel stronger everyday and love my life me and my kids. He has lost out and still tries to win me back. Please don't let it eat you up inside it's his problem not yours you are amazing. Your mental health is more important then any relationship xx
April 21, 2016 - 5:09pmThis Comment
My boyfriend and I recently got engaged and up until now, I always believed he thought I was sexy/gorgeous/beautiful/proud to be with me, but then he dropped a bomb. Turns out, I don't turn him on, he's not sexually attracted to me, maybe a little physically attractive since all he says is "you're an attractive woman". He makes me feel ugly and unwanted. Now, I have never thought of myself as ugly. I have always been confident in my looks, and even been told I am an exotic beauty, but when it comes to how he views me, it breaks my heart to where I feel as if I'm in physical pain. I love him very much and am happy to be with him. I love our connection. We are best friends and have a great time together. We always have a blast and can talk about anything, but that physical desire isn't there for him the way it is for me. I always want him. If I could, we would have sex every day, a few times a day. He doesn't sexually satisfy me in the sense that I don't get it enough and my needs aren't always answered. Anytime he wants sex or even just head, I'm there for him. When it's the other way around, 80% of the time I get rejected. It is discouraging. I know I could get attention elsewhere and even try to be with someone else who would be physically attracted to me and want me all the time, but he's the man I set my heart on a long time ago. I'm struggling with deciding on is it enough for me to occasionally have that physical relationship with him compared to how great of a bond we have as partners, intellectually, and as friends. He does love and care for me. He does a lot for me and has even changed a lot to be a great man for me, but he's told me I'm not his type. He's with me because there is substance to me. If he wanted just a pretty girl that's what he would go be with. I hate how other random women turn him on, get his attention, and I have to fight for it. As his fiance, I feel that I shouldn't be fighting anymore for that attention. If he chose me, then why don't I get his attention? He's even said how he's accepted being with me, like he's settling for me. I'm not settling for him. I'm attracted to him in every way and really do only have eyes for him. I've never cheated. I've stayed 100% loyal to him. I don't give guys the time of day. I don't check out other guys or make comments like he does if he sees a woman who is his type. It's discouraging. I just really need advice/help. Should I marry him since in every other aspect of our lives, he fulfills? Should I be okay with him not ever viewing me as sexually attractive? Or, do I need to break off the engagement and wait to meet someone new who will want me just as much as I want them? I've had other guys tell me I'm gorgeous and sexy and any man would be lucky to have me by their side, but I know my fiance doesn't feel that way at all. He loves me because I'm a good woman, loyal, take care of business, cook, clean, work, raise kids, family-oriented (his family loves me and more than approves), and have good morals and values. Is that enough to stay with someone for the rest of your life? I know a relationship isn't all about sex, but it's a part of it. A part that if left unsatisfied will leak over into every other aspect of your relationship and cause unhappiness, resentment, and regret. I don't want to feel that, and as much as I love him and want to be with him, I don't want him to just settle for me based on my good qualities. Every woman wants to be wanted by her man. What do I do?
March 8, 2016 - 1:25pmThis Comment
Oh honey...I know exactly what you are going through. My boyfriend is the same way. I'm an attractive woman, lots of people think so, but my man, my love, isn't turned on be me anymore...despite my best efforts. He would rather jerk off to porn. I feel so hurt and confused and alone all the time. He's all I ever wanted...it's like being locked out of a candy store...just standing outside and drooling. It's pure torture.
August 25, 2016 - 12:09pmThis Comment
I have been married To a great guy for 26 years and 2 amazing daughters. My Husband Is shy his friends are my friends . We had always had a great relationship.. Las winter I started to teach Spanish 3 days a week evenings.. He started To talk To a girl at work his employee (very young girl) He say They would hang out while i teach got together for drinks. I found out
October 6, 2016 - 7:16amThis Comment
I got the same bomb dropped today and it physically hurts my heart. So what did you end up doing? Any suggestions?
August 6, 2016 - 7:36pmThis Comment
I know exactly how you feel, my fiancé and I have been together for 8 years off and on, we have 3 children together and our sexual intimacy hasn't always been distant... He's never told me that he wasn't sexually attracted to me, but his actions these past 2 years have spoken extremely louder than his words! He still has sex with me, but it feels as though his mind isn't focused on me at all. He keeps a distance from me before sex, like he completely avoids eye contact and avoids touching me at all cost... When I ask him about it, he gets upset and denies keeping his distance. I feel like he's fantasizing about another woman... I've done everything I can to get his attention but he just doesn't seem interested and all he can say is... "You know I love you" I'm hurt so very deeply because I don't understand what's going on andI know I'm attractive and sexy but if I'm not attractive and sexy in his eye's then nothing else matters... He gets satisfied sexually from me, but in his mind I'm a different woman so I feel used and not good enough. He can make himself orgasm just thinking about having sex with another woman... I've laid next to him while he's thought so deeplyabout another woman that he nut all over himself and all I could do was lay there and cry silently.
April 22, 2016 - 1:46pmThis Comment