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I have a difficult time having an orgasim during sex. Is this normal?

By Anonymous April 12, 2010 - 9:39am
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My partner and I have had a sexual relationship for almost three years now and I very rarely can have an orgasim. I find myself faking it most of the time. Is this normal? Is there something I can do?

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Hi, Anon,

Welcome to EmpowHer! Thanks so much for writing.

What you are experiencing is, indeed, really common in women. Unlike men, for whom orgasm is primarily physical, in women it's both physical and extremely mental.

I would ask you to think about the times you have had orgasms, however infrequent they have been. Was there anything different about those times? Were you more relaxed? Were you with this partner, or a previous partner? Did you feel more comfortable than you usually do? Did you try different positions, or think about a fantasy? Did your partner do something special to give you pleasure?

In fact, we get lots of questions about this subject from women at EmpowHer. I'm going to give you links to some past discussions about this to see if they will help:




I hope you see that you are certainly not alone, and take heart that it's possible to change this. Do these links help you?

April 13, 2010 - 8:54am
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