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I'm 21 and can't feel sex

By March 11, 2017 - 12:30pm
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OK so I've been with my partner for 5 years and I love him like nothing else. But I cannot feel sex. I barely even get horney and it's killing me. The slightest thing make him want sex and I feel terrible I don't feel the same way. What's wrong with me ! Sex is just uncomfortable and there is literally no 'good' feeling whatsoever. I want sex but I don't want sex. Does that make sense ? I need advice and I need help ! I told my doctor and she said that it happens in girls because "they aren't really ment to feel anything, it's like the animal kingdom. The females just sit there." Kind of pissed me off so I gave up. Even when I kiss him I don't feel a spark. But whenever he's out or not around all I want to do be with him. And he is attractive so I sexualy attracted to him. I just cannot orgasim during sex nor can I feel a God damn thing !!!! It's tearing me apart. I just want a sex drive and I want to enjoy sex. Yes we use toys but I'd rather just us on our own....please please help me

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Hi, janie21.

Thank you for your post.

You are not alone. One in three women doesn’t have orgasms during sex with a partner. This can be because the clitoris (which is the most sensitive part of a woman’s genitals) isn’t always stimulated during vaginal sex. Touching this part of the body, either with hands, a sex toy or through oral sex, is actually what helps most women have orgasms. You can do this instead of vaginal sex or before, during or after penetration.

Here are a few other things you can do:

Change position. Not all positions work for all couples.
Teach yourself to orgasm through masturbation. Show your partner what you like.
Start with a lot of foreplay to get you aroused.
Try to relax. Anxiety/stress makes the situation worse.

Sex is more than (just) penetration, it's mental and emotional as well as physical. If things don't seem to improve, try talking with your doctor. Find a new doctor if your current doctor dismisses your situation, again. You need a doctor that will take you seriously and help you.

Keep us updated.


March 11, 2017 - 12:58pm
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