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I'm 30 my boyfriend is 40, together 6 yrs and the relationship is going in the wrong direction

By March 16, 2011 - 9:04am
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Hello, well i've never just put my buisness out there like this but I need some advice. My boyfriend and I have been togther for 6 yrs. We have had the normal couple fights and struggles but for the most part a very good relationship. Our sex lives have always been very good up until this past year. I'm lucky if it happens once a month. Now we have had a trying year with myself being away a lot on buisness and him being stressed about work and the economy. it's been several months and I havent gone out of town and his work has been very good but our relationship is struggeling. He used to always txt me in the morning I love you, (haven't gotten that in months). I can't remember the last time he gave me a hug, kiss or said I love you without me initiating it. He does more things with his friends than me. He never calls but has time to facebook and look at pictures of naked chicks, I call it porn he calls it beautiful women. I've asked so many times for us to have sex and the answer is no or maybe. He goes to bed at 8pm all the time and expects me to do the same. He used to be affectionate and very sexual but that has all gone out the window. I keep thinking the age has something to do with it, but I just don't know. I think sex is a big part of a relationship, it expresses feelings for one another. What do I do? I've tried talking to him and get no where. I appreciate any advice I can get. Thanks

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EmpowHER Guest

sorry to hear about your problem, one of two things is going on 1. he is seeing someone else or 2. he is seeing someone else. any way you want to put it, its time to move on with your life and it seams to me that he's waiting for you to break it off so he doesnt look the ass. my daughter pointed your story out to me. i hope you fine someone worthy of the love you want to share, good luck

May 26, 2011 - 9:49pm

Hi Tracy30,
Thank you for your question and for joining EmpowHER. I'm sorry you are going through this. Just like any relationship, it can experience ups and downs. It definitely sounds like you are going through a period of disconnect with your partner.

Just as every relationship is unique, so are the reasons or causes behind your partner's choices in his behavior towards you. We have compiled the “best responses” received from both men and women in regards to your specific question, and hope you read through them thoughtfully. Women have been going through the same struggles, and have shared their insight and lessons learned. Men have also shared why they did not want to have sex in their strained relationships. Please let us know what “words of wisdom” or “tips” resonated with you from the following articles:

Helpful Relationship and Sex Articles:

There also is a similar ASK here on EmpowHER that may interest you to read some of the responses. At the very least, it should convey to you that you truly are not alone in this situation: Why doesn't my boyfriend want to have sex with me anymore?
Assess the situation, try to figure out what's really going on, decide if it can be remedied, and work on it. If all else fails, you can decide to move on. I know none of it will be easy.
Good luck, and let us know how you're doing.

March 16, 2011 - 9:41am
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