I'm not sure if this is the correct place to post this, so please go easy on me if it's not.
I've been with my boyfriend for two years now and we recently moved in together. Everything is absolutely wonderful with the exception of one thing - he is obsessed with looking up nude girls and porn online.
Now let me explain - I've known from the get go that he is very sexual and has a magazine stash and looks up porn quite a bit. That's not what bothers me. The problem is that he will pickup his iPad when we are sitting down and watching a movie, turn it away from me and look up naked women. And lots of them. It's blatantly obvious but I never say anything. But the worst thing is, when he's done, he'll put it down and try to initiate sex immediately with me. I don't want to be touched or have any type of sexual contract because I feel so disrespected and I feel like he needs other women to turn him on before we have sex. Sometimes I also feel like I'm just the live in toy that's there for him to have sex with since he can't with the girls in the photos.
For example - the other night we were watching a movie. I had to keep getting up to let the dog in and out, get some drinks, etc. every time I would walk out of the room he would pic up his iPad, look at photos and turn off the screen when I would come back. Then we went upstairs and tried to initiate sex. I ended up saying no and calmly brought up what I knew was going on and how it made me feel. He seemed bothered that he hurt me and aplogized. It stopped for a few weeks but recently it started again.
I'm not sure how to deal with it from here. This is an everyday thing and I get very hurt by it. One night we were getting hot and heavy, he told me to go wait for him upstairs and when I was walking upstairs I saw him sit down with his iPad. It makes me feel like I'm not enough. The part that I don't understand is that we have a very active sex life (everyday for the most part, if not more). And we're very sexual in general not counting just the act.
Am I overreacting? It's hard to ignore what is going on. I have no problem with him looking at porn/naked girls when I'm not home (everyone gets in the mood) and I'd even feel better if he did it in the open instead of trying to hide it, but when he's doing it right next to me and hiding it, it just really breaks me down mentally. I have no plans on leaving someone over this, but I guess I'm looking for ways to deal with it/address it.
All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.