My husband died a few years ago, after a marriage of almost twenty years. I met someone about nine months after his death, and have been seeing him for the most part since then. So often I wonder if this is truly what I want. At first, it was definitely what I thought I wanted. He was quite a challenge to understand and often left me feeling unwanted. The sex between the two of us was great for about six months, and has only trinkled down to virtually null. I was always the one to initiate the sex,a nd did not have a problem with it then, but it has come to the point where I have no desire to inititate, so as a result, there is no sex. Even when I was the one to make the effort, many times it would not happen. He has just recently started taking antidepressants ,which I think he has needed for some time.
One day he returns home and finds all of his personal belongings thrown in his boat in front of her home. So he called me, and decided he would go to a friends, he was very upset with her for doing this. Anyway that evening my boyfriend had already planned on coming to my home to see my daughter off to college. This did not go over very well, because he said I should have been available to speak with him that night. I was very torn that night, and did not want to lie to my boyfriend again since I had been making excuses not to see him for about three weeks. I was going to end it, but I was afraid to,for more than one reason. One because I did not want to hurt him, and two, I was afraid of maybe being alone.
Anyway, he used this against me and went back to his live in girlfreind, or should I say she allowed him back in her home. He has never really explained this to me. All I knew was that he cared for me very much, and said he did not a see a future with this women that he lived with for about ten months. I have not seen him in four months and have only emailed him a happy birthday, and Holiday Wishes. I never let him know how much he hurt me, and he does not know just how much I still think of him. Was I so very naive with this one, or could he have motives for staying with her?
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