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sex and relationships

By September 4, 2015 - 7:28am
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Iv been with my boyfriend for 2 years. We moved in together at about 3 months of knowing each other. We used to have sex all the time. Then I got pregnant a few months later. He stoped. I was lucky if we had sex 1 time a month. He always says I'm tired, I'm not in the mood, or I just went to the bathroom. I feel like these are all excuses. Because he clearly doesn't mind if I do anything for him. Im the only one who makes the moves.. yet i get denied all the time. He states there is nothing wrong with me making all the moves.. but i feel like im making him... my doc even recommended sex to help get labor started and he still wouldnt.... Now he says hes scared ill get pregnant again. I tried telling him theres many ways to prevent it... But I get nothing in return. I know relationships shouldn't be based on sex.. but I feel so bad about my self.. am I now unattractive to him.. I feel so depressed . Iv tried talking to him and all he says is I'm sorry I'm tired or not in the mood.. and honestly I broke down crying the other day when I talked to him about it... in my opinion you need to make time.. it doesn't need to be everyday...

I mean come on... never?
I honestly feel like I'm begging all the time. Hey come shower with me. Hey do u want to do this or that. And always a no.

So I guess my question is how do I go about getting this resolved.. I don't want to leave him over it.. but I want things to change....

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I am now on birth control. I got pregnant a few months after we moved in together. My baby sleeps all night long and only cries if she's hungry. So over all she's a happy baby who doesn't cause any problems. He works part time in law enforcement (nights) and also does a few days a month volunteer work. I work 44 hours a week pay 99% of the bills and rent ect. I know his work is stressful but so is mine.. so it feels like he just lives here and I support him.

September 4, 2015 - 10:10am

Hello doramus06,

Welcome to the EmpowHER community. Thank you for sharing your frustration. Sometimes it helps just to vent your feelings.

Lets pick up on your boyfriend's fear that you could become pregnant again.

Was your first pregnancy planned? Was he agreeable to have a baby so soon after moving in together? Are you currently on birth control?

What type of job does your boyfriend have? How many hours does he work in a day and how many days a week does he go to work? Being too tired from hard work and long hours, coupled with lack of sleep with a baby in the house, will surely decrease his interest in sex.

Begging for sex is definitely a turn off. Step back. Start using birth control to decrease his fear of a second pregnancy. Keep the lines of communication open. Consider couple's counseling.


September 4, 2015 - 9:03am
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