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What can and cant cause a pregnancy and how to be intimate without fear of pregnancy?

By Anonymous July 25, 2016 - 11:37am
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To Whom It May Concern:

I know from the title this may sound like another one of those "Can I get pregnant if..." because I've done something I regret, or whatever. This is not the case. Let me give you a little bit of background. I am almost 24 years old and have some disabilities and have been told that pregnancy can be fatal for me so the idea of pregnancy scares me to death. Also from the time I was 11 until I was 20 I had been involved with family friends at the time that I considered like family that I thought knew the answers about things, including sexual things. It turns out they were religious fanatics and had lied to me. They told me pregnancy was a punishment, that I was a punishment because I was an illegitimate child. Anything could cause a pregnancy even something as innocent as cuddling. I have a boyfriend now who shares similar disabilities that I do and he has worked with me for the past month or so to redirect my thoughts and understanding and pretty much fix the damage that these people have caused. He sat down with me and explained that the only way a pregnancy can happen is if we were to have sex, his penis in my vagina, and were to ejaculate. That the sperm has to be shot up there in that manner only because they rely on the force and moisture to work their way all the way up the vagina and into the tubes to meet with an egg and then they have to fertilize that egg. That none of this can happen from touching alone and that my digestive system and reproductive system are two totally different systems that are in no way connected which is why it is impossible to get pregnant from oral sex. In all honesty I have every intention of marrying this guy (and he wants to marry me), and he is the only man I have let touch me sexually. He understands that I cannot even risk getting pregnant and I trust him in that. We have never had full on sex and we do not intend to even after marriage because he and I both don't even want to risk it. He has told me that him touching me first (like fingering) and then me touching him after he has touched me can in no way cause a pregnancy. Neither can oral sex. I worry though sometimes of scenarios of what if I wasn't so careful about washing my hands after touching him. Even though every time after I've touched him I will wash my hands 2 and 3 times over with extra hot water and then use hand sanitizer. It's my own routine and with autism (yes I have high functioning autism) routine is necessary and helps me. But I still fear what if I'm pregnant? What if they were right and God is going to punish me. There is no way I could get pregnant based on what I've said here...and I'm afraid somebody will think bad of me for even sharing this. I love him and I do trust him and we just want to make sure that I am never put at risk and so I guess my question may just be how can we still be intimate with no risk of pregnancy. Also I am on the mini pill to regulate my hormones. Long story short after being on antiseizure medications they messed up my hormones and I had a nonstop period for a year straight that almost killed me, the mini pill keeps me from bleeding out again. I hope to hear back from someone soon and I hope you understand.

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