Facebook Pixel
EmpowHER Guest

Why cant I bring myself to do it?

By Anonymous November 1, 2010 - 4:47am
Rate This

Okay so this is quite embarrassing. I have been going out with my partner for 10 years. We are getting married next year (I am 26 yrs).

We dont have sex ever, but its my fault because everytime he tries to initiate then I back away. I think its because I feel that we dont spend that much time together and when we are together we are either watching tv or sleeping. He does lifesaving on the weekends and I am trying to study part time so I attend school on Saturdays and study.

I dont think sex is that great either, its the same old over and over and I feel like he always want to hurry up and get to the end, he doesnt do foreplay anymore. He used to be romantic, but our relationship is "bla" and I feel like its my fault and we are busy with our own lives as well.

I am a tad nervouse because I am going to marry him next year and I dont want him looking for sex elsewhere.

Can you give any advice?

Add a Comment1 Comments

Hi Anonymous,
I'm so sorry you are having to go through this, but I have to say I agree with Susan. After ten years, and probably never having a relationship with another man, it's no wonder why you're getting cold feet about sex and marriage. This all should be fun and exciting for you. If you're not excited about being with him, or your pending marriage, then it's time to really evaluate if this is the right fit for you. I know how hard it is to realize that, and consider moving on in a different direction when he's the only man you've known for so long. But believe me, as someone who has been in your shoes, you will be glad you didn't go through with your wedding knowing that it didn't feel right. Wait until it does, and you will be rest assured you are doing it for the right reasons and with the right man. It's monumentally harder to divorce a man after paying for a big expensive wedding than it is to just break up amicably and see what happens.
Please let us know how you're doing. I know it's not easy either way, but you owe it to yourself to make sure you are happy and excited about sex and your future with any man.
Good luck!

November 1, 2010 - 12:42pm
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy
Add a Comment

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.

Sexual Health

Get Email Updates

Resource Centers

Related Checklists

Sexual Health Guide

HERWriter Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.


Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!