I went to a fun bridal shower today but unfortunately cannot make the bachelorette party tonight due to other commitments.
It's going to be a fun time, with a dinner at a nice restaurant and an evening spent line-dancing at a country bar. I'm not into country music and can't line dance to save my life, which is probably what would make it fun! Those line dancers are really into their thing, so seeing a bunch of women screwing up every dance move might make for some fun amusement!
Coincidentally, I also just read an article about what really goes on at many bachelor and bachelorette parties and it's anything from a fun night with girlfriends for the bride I saw today, or something a lot, well, different.
In a recent Cosmo article called Confessions of a Bachelor Party Stripper, the stripper said that about 30% of the grooms are willing to engage in sexual activity with the stripper (s), and about 70% are unwilling. It also seems like the best man and other groomsmen are the instigators - trying to get the guy to have sex as his last "hurrah" before settling down to a life of (supposed) fidelity. One third of them are willing to engage in sex? That seems extraordinarily high. But a professional dancer would know more than me.
Of course, any man who is willing to have sex with a stripper for money, weeks before his wedding may not exactly plan on lifetime of monogamy with his wife.
Even without sex, the average stripper show at a bachelor party involves a lot of sexual activity, usually between two female strippers, with the men watching and cheering them on.
The groom usually gets a lap dance by a topless or naked dancer and he is usually shirtless. Most men at these parties do not consider this to be of a real sexual nature. The other men are then invited to get a topless lap dance and many accept, whether they are married or single.
Bachelorette parties are not always innocent affairs either. While many are simply a bunch of girlfriends like my friend, celebrating a fun night out with some good food and wine, and very dubious attempts at dancing, others employ male strippers who strip completely and some kinds of sexual activity occasionally takes place.
And not all guys go for sex. Many guys go to a sports bar or a ball game and enjoy an all-guy barbecue afterward, throwing back some beers and reminiscence about the good all single days that most are secretly pretty happy to say goodbye to!
Often times, news of these parties gets back to the other almost-wed and can cause havoc. Feelings of betrayal and disappointment occur and at it's worst, it's not unknown for a wedding to be canceled, especially when rumors abound and pictures surface on social networking sites or on email.
But this isn't always the case. Sometimes, both parties accept that "what happens at the party, stays at the party" and indulge in whatever activities they choose. It's considered a right of passage - a last opportunity to engage in activity that will then be rebuked and ended on the day of the wedding.
Tell Us
Did one of these parties negatively affect you or someone you know? Or do you agree with the premise that although they may be wild and of a sexual nature - it's a right of passage that every soon-to-be-married should enjoy without fear of getting into trouble?
Would you be ok with your partner engaging in one of these kinds of parties?
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Add a Comment28 Comments
Couldn't have said it better myself! Wow!
January 17, 2016 - 3:46pmThis Comment
Strip Clubs and Strippers degrade women. Most of these girls are just 18 years old and have been sexually abused as a child. 80% of Strippers are also part-time prostitutes! Think of the STD's. There is NO WAY that I would let my husband go to a Strip Club or hire a private Stripper for a Bachelor Party etc...! It is sinful and morally wrong! Ladies, do you really know what goes on during Bachelor Parties??? Believe me, it isn't just the girl dancing and taking her clothes off. Most men participate in sexual games and actually have physical contact with the stripper!! Lap Dances are cheating in my eyes. Google what a Lap Dance really is and I bet you wouldn't want your husband to get one! It is as close to intercourse as you can get! There is also a game called Feed the Kitty. Google that one and I guarantee that you will be very upset if your man did this to another women! I vote NO to Bachelor Parties that have Strippers or going to Strip Clubs... Especially if the men are already married! It is cheating on your wife and I don't care if it is culturally accepted. It is still wrong! Bachelor Parties are awful Male Bonding Traditions!
April 15, 2012 - 9:07amThis Comment
What about bachelorette parties where the bridesmaids or even the bride give a male stripper a blowjob or a handjob huh? its not all on men honey.
March 24, 2013 - 7:38pmThis Comment
I am a Guy from Chicago Married to a Beautiful Girl and Think that any Married man and or women should not allow themselves to be placed in an inappropriet situation where there will be naked men or women. Why put each other in situations that could cause turmoil in your own marriage. Its simply not worth it. I have went to the pregame dinners and left prior to all the craziness. My way of controling my life and marrage. My wife is going to a Bachelorette Party over the summer, she has decided on her own to just do the pregame dinner and drinks an skip the after party craziness. Marriage is a work in progress for us all and why put additional unneeded stress and worry on eachother. It has Zero to do with mis trust and all to do with whats right for us.
June 4, 2011 - 11:23amThis Comment
i think bachelorette parties are wrong. because i would not know what my woman would be up to if i was getting married. and my advice to women would be if you have one don't do anything that the truth gets out later about. because i have heard accounts of the man making examples of the women beating them. killing them etc
October 19, 2010 - 8:46amThis Comment
Another thing that kills me is when women excuse guys actions as "innocent."
Having a scantily clad woman put her genitalia in a man's face is not innocent in the slightest. No matter what your boyfriend/husband says, he's getting extreme sexual satisfaction from another woman. How can you seriously be okay with that? Chances are, in your heart you know it's wrong but you don't want to appear "controlling," or you are trying so hard to be trusting and understanding.
Well, I'm a man, and I'm telling you, having other practically naked wome all over a man is not innocent at all.
I told my girl friend the truth, and that is if another woman were to do that to me, I'd be overcome with guilt... Stop ignoring your gut, your instincts, stand up for what's right...
And the reverse situation- if you're a man, and don't want strippers to be a part of YOUR bachelor night experience, and your wife wants some naked men to oggle-- you're a Saint, and she oughta be ashamed of herself if she doesn't care about what you're comfortable with...
If I was in that situation, point blank... I'd tell her it's not gonna happen. Girls hate it when guys give in to peer pressure and do bad things just because their friends do, right? Well... Same situation in reverse.
September 24, 2010 - 12:10pmThis Comment
hello all woman, just to start things off i am a man and i am looking for a female perspective of what my feelings are. For my bachelor party i am going paint balling then to a comedy club to bar that has an all you can eat wings night and then to a casino and NO strippers. A pretty fun night that will include some of my favorite things and hanging out with my best buds. My finance on the other hand wants to go out for a night of an all you can drink clubbing followed by going to the strippers and god knows what else. I am not disrespecting any women at all by saying this but i make good money and provide her with everything as she does not work at the moment i am paying for the wedding and her bachelorette party and i somewhat feel entitled to kind of put the boundaries on certain things (feel free to disagree with me as your feelings maybe different then mine) I am not trying to be controlling and even if I wasn't paying I would still prefer if she did not go to the strippers. I have suggested flying her and her friends out to California to do some shopping and spend a weekend at spa and get the whole pampered treatment. i trust her and love her and know that she her self would never do anything wrong. her friends on the other hand are all single wild and crazy girls just looking for "fun" and i know what it feels like to be left out and they would pressure her to do things because they think that it's a bachelorette party its last night to be a free woman and no body wants to be a party pooper. I have heard "horror" stories about things that have happened at these parties. I love this girl so much and would never want anything to ruin the life that we have ahead of us. she says she owes it to her friends to go see strippers as some of them the way they are may never get married. i just don't understand why she doesn't see my point of it should be celebrating the fact that you getting married not the fact that its your last chance to be single
I am open to all criticism even if you disagree please explain why as it may help me understand why I am wrong.
August 3, 2010 - 3:30pmThis Comment
You have every right to feel the way you feel. Just because her freinds may never get married doesnt mean they cannot have their own stripper party, why do they have to mess up your event?? Your wife owes it to YOU to not be disrespectful in the relationship, and her freinds owe it to you both as a couple to not push something neither of you want for their own benefit.
Bachelor and bachelorette parties are not last nights to be single. Thats just what skanks and man-whores say. Truth is that you cannot have a fiance and be single at the same time.
September 23, 2010 - 7:56pmThis Comment
Found out what really happened at now husbands bachelor party a week before our wedding. Never had any doubt in trusting him until getting my make-up trial done for our wedding. Turns out she took his belt off...whipped him with it. He touched her breasts and used a dildo on her. He fessed up when I called him and told him I knew everything. He had sworn on my life a few days after the party that she didn't touch him and she had her underwear on. I know this is silly to be venting to a blog and I'm not sure it will even turn up. I'm finding this to be really difficult to cope with. I feel in my hear this is not ALL that happened and more went on. Always listen to your intuition.
June 21, 2010 - 12:14amThis Comment
You have every right to vent, dont feel like you shouldnt.
September 13, 2010 - 8:26pmThis Comment