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Ask A Cougar: How to Meet A Younger Man

By Anonymous
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I’m not crazy about being called a “cougar.” By now, though, I’ve been called it so often, it has grown on me. Given all the questions I get about cougars and cubs, I figure I’m something of an expert now, too.

So I’m starting this new series today to answer all those questions and any new ones—please send them along by leaving a comment or emailing me at, Pamela @ seasonedsex.com.

Technically, a cougar is an older woman with some disposable income who preys on a younger man and likes to be in firm control. I don’t have spare cash lying around to entertain the pool boy, say, but I’m definitely an older woman (47) who loves running the show. And I do have younger boyfriend, Michael, who’s 28. We’ve been together for almost two years.

So you may be wondering, how did we meet? First off, let me qualify my answer by saying that while sex is great, I didn’t come all this way in life to be taking my panties on and off and call it a day. I need a little more than that. Conversation, for starters.

The secret to meeting the kind of cub you can talk to gets down to this: Let it all hang out. Be your self. Think I’m crazy? Read on.

I had just moved into a new house and the bathrooms needed renovating. Mutual friends recommended Michael for the job. He came by one cold November night to give me a quote. With his apple rosy cheeks and a frank open face, he looked about 18 years old.

We sat down together and talked through the job, pricing vanities and lighting fixtures on eBay. I’m shocked to tell you that I felt this sexual vibe right away and I was a little disgusted with myself. He could be my son, but a boyfriend? Ridiculous. Still, there was some pull. He was sipping on the Chrysanthemum tea I had made, pretending to like it. I was trying hard to focus on what he was saying, but all I could think about was sneaking another look at his full red lips getting all hot from the tea. I imagined those lips billowing steam as they worked their way up between my thighs… (Oh geesh, sorry about that. I’m jumping ahead in my story.) For a second, I wondered if he was a little curious about me, too, but I kept things totally professional.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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