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Are Sexual Fantasies Healthy?

By HERWriter
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At one point in time, almost every woman has allowed herself to engage in sexual fantasy. Whether it’s being ravaged by a stranger or having several partners, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Sex experts and therapists say women should allow themselves the pleasure of these fantasies.

Fantasies allow women to venture into sexual situations they might never actually experience in real life. Often women use fantasies to increase their libido and help to achieve orgasm. Sexual fantasy can also help some women lessen any anxiety they may feel during sex.

There are varying views when it comes to men and women and sexual fantasies. Some argue men fantasize more while others say it’s more common among women. One study found in 15,000 women ages 18-34, less than three percent said they never fantasize.

The biggest difference between men and women is the theme of their fantasies. Women tend to fantasize more about intimacy and romance, while men tend to focus on more carnal acts. However, sex experts say women’s sexual fantasies are evolving. Rates of women having more active and aggressive sexual fantasies are on the rise. Some say this is directly related, in part, to feminism.

Having a fantasy is one thing but acting it out is quite another. Many women say the reason their fantasies are so exhilarating is because it’s something they would never try in real life. While fantasy may enhance actual sexually activity, it should never be assumed a fantasy represents an unconscious desire. Some women may fantasize about being overpowered or even raped by a man, but this doesn’t mean they actually want to be raped.

Recent years have seen more openness about sexual fantasies and a greater recognition this is common behavior is for both sexes.

While many fantasies take place alone, in one’s head, many partners like to act out fantasies together to amp up their sex life. Even the internet has helped bring shared fantasies to whole new level. People can exchange pornography, engage in interactive role-playing and even participate in fantasy chat rooms.

Therapists have also found fantasy can help patients overcome sexual problems.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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