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Dr. Clark shares what society must to do foster better sexual relations between wom and men.
Dr. Clark:
Well, again I think the emphasis is on the physical. What I would advise, and this would be a great disruption in how we do things now, but I would advise communities and religions and families and cultures to give permission and encourage females, pubescent females and older to explore their own sexuality through masturbation so that they know their body, that it’s theirs, that to provide that sense of ownership and that they know how to bring themselves to orgasm.
From that, they will learn that sex is physical. It’s not only about emotions, okay? It’s not only about being accepted by someone, which of course is very enjoyable, but sex itself is basically a physical phenomenon and t,he pleasure that you are going to get is a physical pleasure and so therefore if a female allows herself to masturbate and learn and master that physical experience then she will have the ability.
I’d also encourage to be physical only with an individual who they wish to be. There will be a decision-making process and not a flight into rebellion against the authorities that tell them don’t, so that when she is ready and she chooses to have the sex partner that she also can teach him how to, what she likes because she knows what she likes, and that’s also a way to discriminate partners as to whether this is an individual who cares enough about her to learn and also that the male learn to accept that; that’s part of what he is providing for her.
All true benefits are mutual. The male is missing out on his sexuality also. He is missing out on his enjoyment of full sexuality because the female has such, you know, the training is so negative. So, enforcing the physicalness of sexuality and that the female can master that and be in charge of it, that that is her domain and then share it with a lover who she chooses and also, if the male isn’t that person and isn’t willing or able or interested in learning how to please her, then that also would be a way to discriminate and not have that person as partner.
About Dr. Mary M. Clark, Ph.D.:
Mary McGinn Clark, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist (PSY17897), Marriage and Family Therapist (MFC17748) and an AASECT Certified Diplomate in Sex Therapy with over 25 years of experience working with people. She addresses sexuality, relationship and intimacy concerns for individuals and couples. She has taught at the University of San Diego, SDSU, MiraCosta and Grossmont Community Colleges and presented material at UCSD and at professional conventions.
Visit Dr. Clark at San Diego Sexual Medicine at Alvarado Hospital