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Long-term Relationships: Getting Back in the Groove

By HERWriter
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how to get back in the groove with your long-term relationship Auremar/PhotoSpin

There are many reasons that people in long-term relationships can find themselves not in the mood for sex such as exhaustion, children, low self-esteem and stress, said WebMD.

DrLauraBerman.com wrote that an active sex life with your partner maintains emotional closeness and satisfaction for both parties. Physical intimacy is crucial in maintaining a longlasting and fulfilling bond.

"When you're in a long-term relationship, you get into a routine," ob-gyn Renee Horowitz, of the Center for Sexual Wellness told WebMD.

"There's biological evidence that novel experiences cause the release of dopamine in the brain." Dopamine is a chemical messenger that affects the brain’s pleasure center.

While it's inadvisable to just switch partners when the excitement diminishes, you can try changing up things with a different place, time or position.

For many women, the worst time for having sex is at the end of the day. HealthyWomen.org recommended talking with your partner to determine what works for both of you, such as sex before dinner or in the morning. Once you agree, plan for it.

Share your sexual fantasies with your partner, wrote Woman’s Day. According to Ian Kerner, PhD, sex therapist, "The brain is your biggest sexual organ. You can't just rely on the physical stimulation of sex; you also have to take advantage of the mental power."

Institute a plan of "no touching below the belt" for the first 20 to 30 minutes of intimacy, advised Woman’s Day. This forces you to focus more on kissing and touching, which people tend to abandon when they rush into intercourse. This creates novelty.

Sometimes low self-esteem gets in the way. "Ultimately, low self-image comes down to not being in love with yourself," sex educator, Sadie Allison told WebMD.

"And if you don't love yourself, you're not going to share yourself with someone else. Short of therapy for poor self-esteem, try finding things about yourself you do like and focus on those sexually."

Hug your partner tight for at least 30 seconds.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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