Laura Yeager: Miss Bipolar USA
What if there were a beauty contest for bipolar women?
What would the talent part be like?
Best tantrum? Best medicine swallow without water? Most money spent on one shopping trip? Most sexual partners? Longest time spent prone in bed? Most cigarettes smoked in one hour?
Would the contestants have to be beautiful or just have inner beauty?
Would there be a bathing suit portion (with everyone being about 50 pounds overweight, that part might be omitted)?
Would they sing, "Here she is...Miss Bipolar America?
Well, I know if there were a contest like this I would have a great chance of winning.
When they'd ask me a serious question to see how articulate I am and how wise, I'd pipe up and deliver a hell of an answer. I'd say, "I write an online blog; I deliver fascinating discussions of bipolar illness twice a week!"
I'd at least be third runner-up because I'm special, so special, and the judges would see that. I'm not much to look at, but I shine inside...I have been through hell and back, and I could tell you some stories that would curl your toes...
If there were a Miss Bipolar USA contest, would you enter? Would you win? How about a Mr. Bipolar USA?
Note: I’m going to be taking a couple months off (July and August) from my bipolar blog, so I’ll “see” you again in September.
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I think I might have an outside chance at Mr. Bipolar, based on the extravagant scientific theories I came up with while very manic a couple of years back. I managed to convince a lot of people I had formulated something major, and only after sharing it with 12 major universities (and crashing to the psych ward) did I realize it was all a folly.
June 23, 2009 - 3:38amThis Comment
What a great idea! i would enter...I have not had any amazing feats in my manics but I did somehow come to the conclusion that i was a god and had some pretty cool super abilities. Not THE god mind you, but i was pretty sure i was not a mere human anymore. lol...oh the fond memories of my non medicated self....
July 2, 2010 - 11:40pmI year and a half late for this post, I say this: Hell yeah, I'd enter! And I'd take that tiara home to smash it with a sledgehammer against the sidewalk.
December 2, 2010 - 10:53pm