On my 25th wedding anniversary, I thought I was having a stroke.
I felt like I was in a dark tunnel. I felt like I was disappearing. I could feel it happening and couldn't stop it. Terrifying.
My vision was fractured, like special effects in a movie, where the action scenes speed up, slow down, freeze frame . . . But this was not special-effects, this was my real eyes and my real brain.
Researching later, I read that I'd been losing "I" function. Other people have experienced it.
I remember feeling, no one should ever go through anything this cataclysmic alone. Somebody should know about it. I've never been so scared in my life. And I've been some scared in my life.
I staggered from my bedroom to the living room. The walls seemed to move in toward me; I thought I was going to bump into them. The floor seemed to rise up, then down as I stumbled across the hall. I wanted to yell for help, but words wouldn't come. I was gasping for air.
I made it to the couch and felt a little relief -- There was Al. Oh! Thank God.
I sat, breathing hard, gaping at him. I can only imagine the expression on my face. Big staring eyes, mouth working, trying to speak. Nothin'.
I managed to ask for water. He got me a glass and as I held it, the water spilled as my hand shook.
Now, I'd often had the feeling I was shaking and yet, to the observing eye, there was never any sign of trembling. That used to bother me, that something could be that out-of-whack and not show. But on this day I was aghast to find that as I sat there feeling like I was shaking, for the first time -- I was.
[End of Part1]
I spent 15 years losing the battle against CFS. Two years ago, I found treatment that worked for me, and now I am making a comeback.