I'm curious what others' reactions are to the article: Princess pedestal: How many girls are on one?.
I am the mother of a toddler boy, and have several playgroups with other moms and toddlers of mixed genders. We love to learn and observe the similarities and differences between the genders (as well as other characteristics, but this is the topic for now!). It is impossible to not notice the over-abundance of princess paraphernalia in every shopping mall, grocery store, convenience store...it's omnipresent!
Yes, it is difficult to raise either gender, as you want them both to be independent, intelligent, self-soothing, open-minded, grateful, curious, happy, caring, empathetic, smart, loving, socially adept... the list goes on and on. You don't want girls being obsessive over only dolls, just as you don't want boys to be obsessive about only trucks. And, this is just the gender-stereotyped toys, of course. My opinion: it's not the doll or truck that is the problem, it's the "obsessiveness" that is the problem, as you want your children to have a variety of interests, although they will naturally gravitate towards certain toys and activities.
There are differences in the genders that our playgroup have observed, even from a young age. It's been interesting to watch and learn (we're all first time moms, and this is fascinating to us!). I was particularly interested in the idea of "Princess Parenting", as I have seen this often with the girls in our group, as well as playgrounds, the mall, etc. I don't want to step on anyone's parenting toes, but has this princess-thing gone too far? Where is the boundary of helping the young girls feel important, beautiful and special, while increasing their confidence and self-esteem without depending on the looks, the male hero and material things (my perspective of what's behind the princess theme). What are the pros/cons of the fairy-tale princess, anyways? Is this the ideal for young girls to live up to? Princess parenting obviously has a bad connotation, but are their positive aspects to this, while toning down the negative? (The ultimate juxtaposition of "parenting" itself!)
Just to get the conversation started, here are the cons discussed in this article regarding Princess Parenting:
- creating narcissistic children, who become narcissistic adults
- disappointment when children realize, as adults, they are not on a pedestal
- princesses (and other similar toys) are called by one person: "empty-headed girly-girl products"
- What are the pros to Princess Parenting?
- Do you agree with the cons?
- Is this the ideal for girls to live up to, or is there a better way?
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I heard something funny on the radio, today, apparently a true story (out of the mouths of babes):
A fellow who has twins, a boy and girl, was with his kids at a park where they saw some ducks.
"Oh, I want to pet the duck," his daughter said.
"Oooh! Let's shoot the duck," his son said.
This the father's example of how boys think differently from girls.
May 27, 2009 - 4:48pmThis Comment
I don't have children of my own. But I'm an aunt to nieces who are 24, 21, 21, 15, 12, and 9, and to nephews who are 20, 18, 15, 12, 8 and 1. It's been fascinating to watch them grow up (and yes, there are a lot of them! They are spread between several families).
The girls have gone through stages where everything is Power Puff girls, or Barbies, or Bratz; the boys went through Ninja turtles and PokeMon and all the regular superheroes. And they all grew out of it all.
I suppose my two most "princessy" nieces are the ones who are now 15 and 9 (two different families). They gravitated to the purple-pink aisles at the toy store early on, and couldn't get enough. Everything was sparkle and glittery, pink and pinker, castles and pet shops and every accessory you could imagine. There are Polly Pockets and My Little Ponys and tons and tons of Barbies. There are massive amounts of the Disney Princesses line, with all their Cinderellas and Snow Whites and Belles.
I think a girl who has a healthy upbringing can change between fantasy and reality without difficulty. My nieces who were the most princessy are not anymore; one is a math nerd (another fun stereotype) and the other is a very competitive little athlete. I expect they'll grow into and out of more stages as they get even closer to being adults.
I'm not sure that girls who play with princess paraphernalia are convinced they're princesses any more than girls who play with baby dolls believe they're truly mothers. And I'm also not sure it matters which toys a kid is exposed to. My nephew who is 8 is in a family full of girls, and he gravitated to "boy games" even before he was old enough to know what they were. (They always had something to do with sticks, or running, or noisy trucks and cars. Sigh.)
If the toys lead to greater manifestations of the theme -- such as parents who call their daughter a princess and teach her to want to be treated like one, or a parent who brings up a boy to be a jock regardless of what he wants -- that's when the problems begin, I believe.
May 27, 2009 - 9:50amThis Comment
I have two sons, the older brothers to my only daughter. While I did try to teach my daughter how to be feminine and "ladylike," I also encouraged her to pursue whatever interests she preferred, however competitive, and I never gave in to the "Princess" bit. Accordingly, my boys were raised to treat girls as equals, while respecting their gender.
We tried to be fair and balanced when it came to the types of games and toys, and the kids enjoyed many of the same ones - like Legos, brain games, even video games. Sure, they had their gender-oriented toys, too. But, my daughter wasn't obsessed with certain "girly" dolls or trying to fit some gender-specific role, if you will.
I think that it's a good thing to teach kids rules of behavior and engagement between genders. But, it doesn't have to go so far as to put either gender on a pedestal.
Just raise good human beings.
JMHO
May 26, 2009 - 8:05pmThis Comment