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24 years old and Ive lost my sex drive

By December 15, 2009 - 4:37pm
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Hi I am 24 years old and Ive been with my boyfriend for over a year now. For the last 6 months or so I have wanted nothing to do with sex. I love my boyfriend and this is the best relationship ive ever been in. I cant figure out why I have no sex drive, he has been very supportive but i think its getting frustrating for him and for me!
At the beggining of our relationship I was always up for sex, and I find him extremely attractive, but for some reason lately i feel like i try to avoid sex altogether. Its making me feel like there is something wrong with me, or with our relationship. When we do have sex i cant even last for that long becuase it will start to hurt. I know i dont have an std becuase ive been checked, it just seems like i cant get into it.

The last relationship i was in, was with a guy that was very emotionally abusive and he would guilt me into sex when i wasnt in the mood. It made me look at sex very differenly for along time, but that was over 2 years ago now and i definately felt like i had gotten over that when i started dating my current man. I also went off antidepressants about 3 or 4 months ago, i figured that would solve my problem but nothing has changed. Im going to be starting birth control in a few weeks and im scared it will get even worse. Is there anything i can do?

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I am very sorry to hear about your loss of sex drive. Considering your last relationship I think that may very well have something to do with it. I believe you do love your boyfriend-- have you given it any thought to get back on the anti-depressants? Or to visit your doctor once again and tell him or her about this?

Another thing that you may want to consider is a some blood work done. Lots of times we lose our will to have sex because of our thyroid gland or something else. Make sure that your CBC comes back fine and if it does then truthfully it may be related to your past and nothing at all to do with your current boyfriend. Sometimes we think we've overcome something only to find out that it remains in our subconscious and it's a lot harder to put behind us.

Please keep me posted.


December 17, 2009 - 6:36am
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