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ask: Addictive Personality Disorder

By Katie May
 
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Hi i don't know if your the correct person to ask so please excuse me if your not.

I've been with my bf 2years in June we are always having problems, he seems to get addicted to things quite quickly since being with him i no the gym is a very big part of his life, he is a chef by trade but has qualification in being a fitness instructor, he always gets him self in routings, he gets addicted to games through facebook at the moments the game is called galaxy , there as been alit of games before that but i found out in December that he was spending money on it to get credits by looking at his bank statements in october he spent £200 in different transactions for one month in Noveber he spend £250 in one transaction the way i see it he aint gaining anything from it but within the gamer other gamers think he is great , people he doesnt know, we broke up in December but got back together in december because when he drinks he gets a bit funny and its scares me he just starts acting weird and says odd things that dont make sense in Dec he was going out with two of his mates drinking by this time he had moved back to his mums, i said to him he could stay at mine as long as he was back before 11pm as i had work, he said he was working the next day and would be back around 10pm i was fine with it but when he was out he started txting me sayin would i mind if he came back at 1am i was like ive got to be up at 7am he kept sayin he loved me and was just spendin time with his mates he couldnt understand the fact i was pissed of it wasnt because he was out it was because he said a time and i had work the next day he kept making it sound like i didnt want him to see his mates, when he starts sayin stuff to me its like his telling what we should me doing at the mo he is not getting enough sleep but thats my fault as i dont encourage him , he now finishing work (which is a bout 10-11pm) and wants to have an hour on his own so ive said ok ill start goin to bed at 10 then which means i wont see him , if thats what he wants fine im gonna do it but just does my head in its always something with him , at the mo he is on a healthy eatin diet he cant eat pasta , rice or potatoes, but he addicted to that at the mo. its like his movin in circles theirs always something he is not happy with and always wants to change things or improve things he cant let thing go naturlly he has to intervien all the time im a laid back person and let him get on things but but he makes changes in our relationship i go along with it coz if we have a arguement he always blames me so i go along with it , he is very competitive he always has to win or do better, his mum has wii nights at her home but no one like being on his team coz he doesnt see it as a game , i played on his team once i wont be doing it again as i didnt do as he said so we got into a massive arguement about it, it was pathetic, we got into an arguement this morning as he said im not helping him go to sleep im always sayin lets go to bed but ive stopped it now as he says he needs an hour to wind down after work , i just want to know what help is out their for people like that and are there any other people in my situation as my head is like a whirl win with him changin his mind, him doin this and doin that, then him thinkin somethin else would be better he always says it will improve our relationship , it will make us better , it will make us stronger , does my head in please help !

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Rosa Cabrera RN

Hi Katie May,

It does sound like your boyfriend may need some help. Unfortunately, it's not really fair to diagnose him as having addictive personality when he may just be competitive and obnoxious. It sounds like you are not very happy in your relationship and if this is the case, then you might want to talk to him and give him the choice of getting help together (couples therapy) or continue being competitive, rude, and blaming others for his lack of sleep, etc. without you in his life. 

This lifestyle will wear out on you because it seems as though you are not an important factor in his life right now and there are about 10 things that come before you. You need to make yourself number 1 again and if that means breaking up for good then so be it. If he isn't willing to seek counseling with you to improve your relationship then this may be the road to take-- your happiness is first, everything else is second. 

Good Luck in your relationship,

Rosa

February 12, 2012 - 8:50am
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