Facebook Pixel
EmpowHER Guest

After time apart with my boyfriend, sex has suddenly become painful. Should I be worried?

By Anonymous May 4, 2009 - 7:36am
Rate This

I recently spent about 5 weeks away from my boyfriend, and when we returned and had sex again, it suddenly became very painful. There was no blood during intercourse, though I found a small amount after I had been to the toilet. It is still slightly painful even a couple of weeks later, and sometimes my vagina feel irritated and almost itchy during the day after we have sex. It was never painful when we had sex before we were apart. I am on the pill and we sometimes have unprotected sex (only when the pill is remembered, and we are both faithful to each other). Could that be related to it? Is this something to be worried about?

Add a Comment1 Comments

Hi, Anon, and welcome to Empowher. I'm so glad you found the site. Let's see what we can figure out for you.

How long had you been having sex with your boyfriend before the five weeks you were away? If it has been a relatively recent development in your life, it may just be that you weren't used to it again. In other words, if you only recently lost your virginity and then spent five weeks apart, you might have felt more irritation when you returned because it was still a new thing for you.

If that's not so, I would ask whether it's a lubrication issue or whether perhaps you have a yeast infection or urinary infection. Do you have any pain when you urinate? Or is it only during and after sex? Does the pain feel confined to the sides of the vagina, or is it a deeper pain, perhaps from penetration?

If you are both completely faithful, there should be nothing to worry about in terms of sexually transmitted disease, provided that neither of you had other partners before each other or, if you did, that you were tested for STDs before having unprotected sex with one another.

In terms of the itching, I would ask your boyfriend whether he has changed soaps, shampoos, colognes or detergents -- sometimes, even something that simple can cause a small allergic reaction.

Have you had any vaginal discharge recently? A vaginal yeast infection is often accompanied by a discharge, which is usually white and curd-like. Here's our EmpowHer encyclopedia page on yeast infections:


Here's the National Institutes for Health page on vaginal itching:


If you would like to rule out the symptoms of sexually transmitted diseases, here is EmpowHer's page on STDs:


And in terms of lubrication, have you been under a lot of stress lately? Could it be that you are not as "into it" recently, and therefore are having trouble staying lubricated throughout intercourse? If so, you can become dry and it can be very irritating. There are great products for this in the feminine products aisle of your grocery store or drugstore, and it may be all you need to ease the pain.

Is any of this information helpful to you? If something seems more relevant than the rest, let me know the answers to these questions and we'll try to focus in on what might be going on.

May 5, 2009 - 9:14am
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy
Add a Comment

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.

Painful Sexual Intercourse

Get Email Updates

Painful Sexual Intercourse Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.


Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!