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Am I pregnant???

By March 1, 2011 - 4:27pm
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Hi, I'm 21 years old. I haven't had sex, until yesterday, I think. I'm so worried to get pregnant. It is my first time I do something like that. My boyfriend and I were fooling around, and he asked me if he could penetrate me, in the first time he asked me, I said no; but later I changed my mind, and I told him that just the tip of his penis...but with the condom on. So, he put it on and he tried to penetrate me, but it hurt so bad that my reaction was to remove myself from there...He tried several times to get inside....thing that didn't happen,,,I believe...I may said that only his tip got inside a little bit....I really don't know!....but I'm so sure that he didn't get all the way inside...I can't stop thinking if I may be pregnant...we used condom....but those feelings of concern are there............& now all down there hurts.......and I'm paranoid....I'm considering in taking the next day pill, but my boyfriend says that I should not take it....because he says he did not cum.......

Please, I hope somebody can help me to clear my mind and to teach me more about sex and alternatives to not get pregnant, and the why it hurts so much. I will be extremely grateful. Thank you for taking your time.

Add a Comment9 Comments

Hi again,
I'm 22 years old now, and my relationship with my boyfriend has passed to the other level. We have made love/sex, and those events have been still painful, overall my first time, it hurt so bad. I'm still afraid to get pregnant. My first time with him was after my last period that was the 10 of July (which lasted 'til the day 14 of July), on July 15, we did it with condom, & in the same day after we did it, I took the next day pill. After days, I had bleeding in the 18 of July and it just lasted 'til the 21; I dont know why it happened??? or What was it??? Then, we did it for second time in the 24,,,,with condom too; & again, we did it for the 3th time on July 30 with condom too, and counting since the day of July 10, I think, I supose to have my period by today. I'm so concerned about it. We used condoms in all the three events, and he cummmed outside. He wants to do it without condom, but I don't want to get pregnant. But about what's happening right now, it's making me so paranoid, because I've never done it before with condoms, and with penetration, & I'm just thinking the worst, I hope you can help me to clear this doubts, about if I can be pregnant with all what we did, from my mind again. I'll be so grateful with you for helping me again. Thank you for taking your time in reading my concern. Regards, Moevysan.

August 6, 2011 - 8:42pm
(reply to moevysan)

Hi Moevysan,
Your most recent question is answered here: http://www.empowher.com/community/ask/can-i-be-pregnant-if-0#comment-91669.

August 7, 2011 - 7:02am

Never think that you are bothering us. We are here to help in any way that we can. Maybe, both of you need a little more time. It is very good that you can talk openly to each other and neither of you should feel guilty. By building a lovely relationship and friendship not based on sex alone, you both may find sexual intimacy to be much more pleasurable.

March 3, 2011 - 5:50pm

I just wanted to add my two cents, as I read that you are really paranoid about what happened, and it does sound like you may have not been mentally or emotionally ready. That's OK...it sounds like you and your boyfriend were able to communicate before and after which is THE most important part about being physically intimate with someone.

I agree with Maryann about the reasons you may have experienced pain; your mind is the most powerful sex organ, and if you were feeling anxious or had doubts, you were most likely not as lubricated as you could have been, and lack-of-self-lubrication would lead to painful sex.

Congratulations on speaking up, and telling your boyfriend that he needs to wear a condom. Condoms are up to 99% effective at preventing pregnancy when used correctly, and if your boyfriend did not ejaculate...you would have little-to-no chance of pregnancy from this safer sex behavior.

March 3, 2011 - 9:23am
(reply to Alison Beaver)

Hi Alison Beaver,
Thank you for taking your time in reading my paranoid comment; because I really was. Now, I'm better because of all of you that helped me.
...yes, I wasn't ready. After the happened things, he felt so guilty for making me do something that he kept asking, which I wasn't ready, he told me in the same day. He was mad at himself. But, I told him that it was a decision that we both made.
And there's no doubt that I was afraid in having sex with him (not because of him, it's because of getting pregnant and maybe loosing my virginity or the fear he'd leave me after it); it would sound weird, but I made him change the condom twice. He also asked himself of the why he couldn't penetrate me, because he tried several times and not even with lubricant. Sometimes I think, I should have waited more time, for letting it to his imagination.
Once again, Thank you for helping me. I'm extremely grateful with you. Maybe, I will have more quesions more ahead, I just hope to not bother you a lot :) Thank you!!! :)

March 3, 2011 - 4:21pm
EmpowHER Guest

I'm not an expert but it sounds like you should be in the clear, I wouldn't worry too much. Not only does it sound like he wasn't in you for very long, I truly doubt that especially with a condom that you may be pregnant. If you're really concerned I would just get a pregnancy test just to clear your mind, but in all honestly I think you're fine. As far as you feeling pain afterwards, I agree with Maryann above. Good luck.

March 2, 2011 - 5:54pm
(reply to Anonymous)

Thank you for taking your time in helping me. I totally appreciate it. I'm better now. Thank you!!! :)

March 3, 2011 - 3:38pm

Dear moevysan,
We are here to help you and I will try my best to calm your concerns and answer your questions.
Choosing to be sexually intimate with your boyfriend is just that- a choice. If you do not feel ready for this next step in the relationship, you can say no until you do feel ready.
Pain upon penetration most likely happened because you were not adequately aroused. Foreplay or fondling of the genitalia before intercourse allows you to become sexually stimulated. When you are aroused, you will notice an increase in vaginal lubrication and this will make penetration easier, less painful and you will enjoy the experience. Being anxious, as it sounds you were, you found this first sexual experience painful.
Here is the link to an article that should help answer your question
I would suggest that you visit your doctor or a clinic to discuss the best form of birth control for you. I do not feel comfortable advising you whether or not you should take the emergency contraceptive pill. Again, I suggest you visit your doctor, a clinic or center like Planned Parenthood for advise on taking the emergency contraceptive pill.
Please come back to us if we can be of further help, you are not alone and we are here for you.

March 1, 2011 - 5:50pm
(reply to Maryann Gromisch RN)

Thank you for helping me to clear my doubts. I'm new in this type of situations, and sometimes I'm so scared to ask. Thank you for taking your time in helping me. I'm still thinking about this past days, but I'm better now.
I agree with you, it is a choice, but it is difficult to decide it. At first, I was going to wait for more time, but somehow it made me feel bad, because of making him wait, more with him telling me that he was so exhited about it...he always asked me it....We have a year being together, I know it's not a long time, but I considered it and also him...I really wanted to experience with him a sexual intimacy, but I did not have in mind that it would hurt, he did not even penetrate me..... and I may be honest that I'm just thinking in the day he will (in terms of pain).
Sometimes I'm also emotionally unstable, thoughts of: "he will leave me after that," or "Is he real with me" are there. I have learned from friend's experiences and relationships. He's my first boyfriend, so that's the way I don't know almost anything.
Well, I hope I didn't waste your time. Thank you, You helped me a lot. I'm so grateful with you.

March 3, 2011 - 3:34pm
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