Am I in a Toxic Relationship?

By MK March 24, 2018 - 9:02pm

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So my partner and I have been together for nearly 6 Months now. He is 32 and I’m 23, we moved in pretty quick.
About 2-3 Months in I moved in with him then he convinced me to move away with him closer to his work.
I quit my job that I loved and moved away from my family about 9hrs away.
My partner and I have been having issues communicating and sexually on and off.

It started off with the sex, I have quite a high sex drive and he use too. Now it’s excuses after excuses, ‘I’m to tired tonight’ or ‘I feel really sick’.

The other night we were having sex and half way through he says ‘I’m just not feeling it anymore’. That instantly broke me, thinking and feeling that I’m unattactive or what can I do more? He said ‘it’s not you’ which of course I damn well feel like it is me!

Just moving to a new location and home with my partner was going well at the start, now after a month of being here It’s starting to go down hill.
He is a introvert, hates going anywhere and never wants to go to any event with me eg. Going out for dinner (even with just me), visiting my family or friends engagement parties.
I tried to talk to him about it, tell him it hurts that he doesn’t want to see my family or take me out for dinner. He instantly get agitated and either tries to brush it off with an excuse or judge me and blow up. I got a new job and hate it, told my partner how I felt and what was happening and is making me feel depressed. He was no way supportive just question why this and why that? He said I have to keep my job because we can’t financially afford it if I don’t. I tried for awhile to just suck it up then TODAY I came home early in tears because I couldn’t mentually do it anymore. First thing he says ‘ did you lose your job or something?’ Didn’t hug me or ask me if I’m ok!? Like he didn’t care that I was crying.
I’m trying so hard to make it work, at this point now I don’t even know if I want to be here, If I’m to scared to move back home or I’m just overrating.

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Helena Guide

Hello. Thank you for posting.

I think it's obvious that the relationship you are in now is not working. If that means toxic, then yes, maybe it is. Part of the problem is you gave up things you loved to be with him and he seems not to care. That right there would be a deal breaker for me. Not caring. You are only 23, give yourself a chance to find someone that will make you happy, someone that cares about you and shares your common interests. Someone that would enjoy going out to dinner and seeing your family. Someone that cares that you find a job you love or at least like. Above all else, make yourself happy. No relationship is perfect, but I'm of the mind, it's either working or it's not. You are happy being with him or not. Don't be afraid to go back home if you feel you don't want to be in this relationship anymore. Some relationships just don't work and ppl move on. It's life and there is no shame in that.

Helena

March 25, 2018 - 5:12am