Hide This

FREEHER HealthToolkit

HER Health Toolkit

Sign up for EmpowHER updates and you'll receive our
FREE HER Health Toolkit

Sex & Relationships

Get Email Updates

Sex & Relationships Guide

Susan Cody HERWriter Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.

ASK

Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!

ask: Effectiveness of wearing a condom And putlling out?

By goody
 
Rate This

Hello, my boyfriend is a very nervoys guy, he's worried that I could be pregnant even though we did everything we were supposed to do the right way and most importantly that we were protected.
I had sex with my boyfriend October,22. He was so worried that we used a total of 5 condoms that night because he lasted around 1 hour and 45 minutes. Then, he came with a condom on and still pulled out and finished in my stomach, above my belly button. Then, he went and did the water test to all of the 5 condoms and none of them had a leak or any sings of breakage.

Then, we had sex again October 24, this time we only used one condom but he still pulled out even though he was using a condom, and came on my stomach above my belly button again and he still went and did the water test and saw no leaking any sings of breakage.
(Sorry for all the details).

The problem is that I have been telling him that we are perfectly fine that we did everything right but he is still worried because Im supposed to ovulate October, 29 and we had sex a couple of days before my ovulation date. However, I keep telling him not to worry about that everything is good and there is nothing worry about, because we used the condoms the proper way, plus he still pulled out which I think that was little extreme since he was using a condom, but well I understand him.

This is the first time we have sex during our relationship, and we sure dont want a baby, but I cannot seem to able to show him that we had sex with a condom and on and still pulled so the chance of a pregnancy happening are very slim. but he still says that he wont believe it until I have my period during the 2nd week of November, its supposed to come November, 10th, and I dont think I could be able to deal with his attitude until my next period starts.

This really makes me think that he doesnt trust me or believes what Im trying to explain him which makes me feel sad because like I have said before. I understand that he doesn't want a pregnancy right now, but we have done everything right!!! I still dont understand why he needs to act this way towards me.

Please ladies, help me out what can I do to make him feel better? and show him that we used a condom and even though there is a chance, they are very small. PLUS he pulled out so the chances become even smaller. PLUS he checked for any signs of leaking and there were not any signs visible. I really want him to understand because this has been really stressing during all this week.

Again Please, ladies what is the effectiveness of using a condom plus pulling out?
And what can I do to make him feel better and show him that we are perfectly fine, I dont really want that our great relatioship finish for a small problem like the one we are currently going through.

Thank you Empowher, I really appreciate your help!.

Kelsey.

Add a Comment2 Comments

EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

your not pregnant

November 5, 2012 - 6:31pm
Alison Beaver

Hi,
You can share with him credible sources of information regarding facts about birth control methods and their effectiveness rate, and then you can understand that he may have not been emotionally ready to have sex. The most important aspect of a sexual relationship is trust, and this is not "about you" or him not trusting you. He is emotionally scared, not wanting to mess up, and knows enough about himself that he is not ready to have a baby. There is a lot of maturity on his part, and he also realizes that the only 100% effective way NOT to become pregnant is abstinence. There are VERY effective ways not to become pregnant: condoms are up to 98% effective, and that's highly effective. The other birth control methods that are highly effective are hormonal birth control options (such as the pill) which is 99% effective.

Share with him the statistics, and instead of trying to prove him wrong...be on his side and show him you trust him and his judgment, and understand his fear. Condoms are up to 98% effective, and he doubled-up on birth control methods by using the Withdrawal Method (or "pull out" method) which increases the effectiveness even greater. You can let him know how much you appreciate his thoughtfullness, his being concerned about both of your futures and your health. You can also suggest that while sex was (fill in the blank with positive description!), that perhaps waiting to have sex again, until after your period begins in mid-November would be best until you both trust the process more. There are many other things you can both do to show your physical affection and be intimate without having penile-to-vaginal intercourse (if his naked penis is near your naked vagina, however, please make sure he is wearing a condom, even if you do not intend to have sex....it can happen quickly in the heat of the moment!).

Here is a great resource that compares effectiveness rates of birth control options: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control-4211.htm

October 30, 2011 - 11:51am
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.

Improved

1669 Health

Changed

624 Lives

Saved

471 Lives
3 lives impacted in the last 24 hrs Learn More

Take Our Featured Health Poll

Need Your Feedback! What health topics would you like to see covered more on EmpowHER.com?:
View Results