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First-time sex: what to do??

By Anonymous December 17, 2015 - 9:15am
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I'm 18 now and still a virgin. I want to have sex but I don't know how to act, what to do? Can it be dangerous if I start feeling much pain? Do we need to stop then? I read it here that most girls feel discomfort and pain and bleeding. Which things are normal to feel and which arent? Can I do something to "make it work" other then just relax and take it slow? Please, help.. thank you

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Hello Anonymous,

Welcome to EmpowHER. Thank you for seeking our help with your concerns.

My advice is more motherly than a step by step guide.
First, do not be pressured into having sex. You must feel ready both physically and emotionally.

Second, be smart. Unprotected sexual intercourse leads to pregnancy. Learn about all the available birth control options. Our Contraception Resource page is a good place to start.

Be aware of how STDs are passed on and how to protect yourself.
"How to Detect and Treat STDs"

Third, understand the basic facts about conception.
"Am I Pregnant? Myths and Facts About Sex"

Anonymous, when you are ready, you can avoid painful intercourse by taking three steps: communication, lubrication and not rushing.

1) Talk about what feels good and what doesn't. If you need your partner to go slow, say so.
2)A personal lubricant can make sex more comfortable. Try different brands until you find one you like.
3) A personal lubricant can make sex more comfortable. Try different brands until you find one you like.


December 17, 2015 - 9:39am
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