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How do i become more mature?

By February 18, 2010 - 6:54am
 
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I'm 22 but act really young (i dont know whether its to do with having adhd)
But I have been with my 29 yr old boyfriend for two years and he loves me but says sometimes its hard as it feels like he's with a kid.when we argue i cant argue like an adult,i just get annoyed with what he says, I get sarcastic and roll my eyes and just act stupid .
Even when things are fine, i do stupid things like dances, stupid voices and stuff i constantly crave his attention and get grumpy and paranoid when i dont get it.

I have a job but I sometimes mess about at work to make people laugh.
I wish i was really mature i dont know how to be, i'm scared he will leave me for a mature woman then i will be devastated and dont know how i will cope.

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EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Hi my name I joe I am 22 now when I meet my boyfriend last year I was 20 turning 21 and he is 28 everything started fine he took me out he was nice gentle men after 6 months he started acting up with me telling I was childish acting like a kid o was stupid a slit hoe now his hitting me up an we got back together after 6 months of relationship we got back together and yesterday we. Went to Jack in the box he order tacos and I screamed SODA because the guy didn't hear me and he got so mad he told me I sounded like a teenager honestly I agree with him I am so dumb I love this guy so much but I guess he hates me now I want to kill myself I don't I really love him I need help or something when we argue he tells me I have a BA and you don't so I am smarter I don't now what to do is this normal for my age by the way his my first boyfriend ever I really love him

July 9, 2016 - 3:09am
HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Joe

Thanks for your post!

I think you and this guy aren't much of a match, are you? He has set a guide of expectations for you that apparently you are not full-filling.

Maybe you do have some growing up to do and that's fine; you're still young. We're all figuring ourselves out in our 20s.

Your boyfriend seems to want to mold you into a person you're not. Be yourself and don't allow any kind of name-calling - that's a big red flag. If he doesn't love you for you, then leave.

Best,
Susan

July 11, 2016 - 3:50pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I'm 19 years old and I have a 21 year old boyfriend, we been together for almost 2 years now and our relationship is at a point where I'm confused about what he says. He tells me how I am immature when we argue, and how I can't hold a conversation or explain things in a mature way, and tells me all the time he feels like hes talking to a kid or having to rise a child that is suppose to be a adult. I know I can be childish at heart and that part my personality, but I'm unsure how my talking affects me being a child, I been trying to change that and help myself and his mom has been trying to explain certain things, but not everything. I just feel like I'm being ganged up on or the fact that when I do listen it doesn't help with understanding I get told to be myself so I do myself, on top of that he tells me how I don't know how to drop things when it comes an arguement that we have, and when he gets frustrated that when he tells me I'm being immature and ask me how old I am, and if i could act my age when we get into one.

April 25, 2016 - 3:08pm
HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon

At 19, there certainly should be some level of maturity but at the same time, you're still very young and far too young to be arguing with your boyfriend (and his mother!). If your boyfriend doesn't like you are you are, I'd suggest moving on.
Best,
Susan

April 26, 2016 - 1:41pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

im 22 years old guy with a girlfriend that is also 22. we've been together for almost 2 years now and lately something bad is happening to our relationship. She kept saying that im immature and constatly over small things and end up my girlfrind asked for a "break" not a break up but a break. she said tht she still love me but now she already seeing someone but the relationship is like "i like him as a friend". So what should i do? should i hold on? or should i just give up? and how to be more matuere?

April 2, 2016 - 8:41pm
HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon

I think it's time to move on - your girlfriend seems to have moved on and doesn't seem able to tell you. In my experience, needing "a break" means it's over but the person feels to awkward to say it.

Best,
Susan

April 8, 2016 - 6:41am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I'm 20 and the guy I'm dating is 18. I feel like we're both still immature. That there's so much we need to learn for ourselves. Can we grow mature together and learn from each other? Or is it better to just call it quits for now? The problem is that we do fight, about small things too. Which is mostly my fault. And it's hard for me to end something that didn't end badly because I do care for him. And I know he's sincerely trying his best. I just don't want him to be pressured to grow up to my age. At his age, I was happy and carefree. But whenever I tell him that we should break up, he doesn't want to. I'm tired. I like us, but I'm tired. And yet I can't seem to break it off because he hasn't done anything wrong. How do I break it off then? Also, my parents would prefer me to date someone in business. Someone whose career path goes together with mine. He's purely into design and art. And I'm going to be in design and business. It clashes I guess. Because I think I need someone capable of handling a business with me in the future. So I'm not really sure. I think I have to force the breakup maybe. And try my best to stay there. I'm confused but I don't know how much we could progress with each other.

November 18, 2015 - 6:50pm
HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon

Thanks for your post!

You are both very young ,there shouldn't be any dating pressure at this age. It sounds like neither of you should be dating; you should be focused on education and careers.
Tell him this - at 20 you should be able to let him know that while you care for him, you can't be in a relationship now. It'll hurt for a while but I promise, both of you will move on.
Best,
Susan

November 19, 2015 - 6:55am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I'm 21 year old Married working women.. I have no parents. they passed away when I was 12 Year old. I had a Brother & he was so strict. I had no love & care from anyone. I grew up in Boarding Hostel till the age of 20.
8 months before I got married with a person whom I love He's 24 years old. And I'm completely happy with him too...
But today in my office my team mates & my self were having lunch in canteen. I usually act stupid some times & make others lough. I even love kittens & pets. Today as common we all talking N making fun.. I even Spoke about my kittens some times with my team mates.
we are only 4 people in my team including me. all are boys and only me is a girl.
normally 1 guy asked my age I told him Am 21 years old. So he was shocked n replied, suddenly replied that "such a old girl you must be matured. you are still childish, you should change your self".
He's 28 years old. even another guy from my team (25 years old) supported me & started arguing that girls are normally childish even there is nothing to change her self. she's good that this an all.... But at that time I just felt very Sad & I dint speak anything. I was just smiling for sake.
And my mind is blocked now. Always for every small reason I'll feel sad & I feel alone, I miss my parents then even I feel like nobody thought me anything & I cant be match up with this world, And my world is somewhere far from earth.
Now you even might be thinking as am gone mad.
that's fine :)
If you feel am not talking stupid & want to suggest something, Please suggest something.

March 15, 2015 - 2:49am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Childish is not a bad thing. If your heart is clean people do that kind of behaviour. You live your life for you, the way you want. First, Its your life so you do have 100% right to live your life according to you(Make sure it will not hurmfull). Tell me one thing if you ask your that friend(Who asked you to change) that behaive like you, will he do?? No right bcoz he is quite confident whatever he is doing. SO now you have to be condient whatever you do. Matureness is not like that you should look serious. Matureness shold show in your work, in your decison. You have to be sincereare to your work and your decision. We should have fun while with friends that why its called FUN TIME. We can make fun in work place but not in work. Every person has different point of view in life so their chioces, thinking, likes differnet from each other. If you ask me I would like to have a team member like you. I don't want boring life, we should have fun. If you put little bit light on that you will see people are trying to act according to the societies requirement. For eg. a bank manager should look serious so that people think twice to talk to him. Simple. Be sinceare not so serious. Hope it will help..... Keep smiling and dnt kill your inocentness just bcoz smone else. But dont be always so innocent.. ok... Tk cr.

April 27, 2015 - 8:38am
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