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How do I work on eliminating this strong anxiety, and horrendous worry about my daughter going to Afghanistan?

By Anonymous January 25, 2012 - 7:27pm
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I have lived with anxiety all of my life. From when I was a child, My single mother, and my grandmother, who moved in with us after my father died, to now at the age of 46. Anxiety and Depression has always been a problem in our family. All of us at home suffer from Anxiety and Depression. Unfortunately, my children, and my sister's children also suffer from Anxiety and Depression (which is common in families where a parent suffer from this ailment. It is transfered to the children). Everything we have done has been involved around anxiety so this is how we cope with our problems. I have tried one-on-one therapy, medication, and meditation. My anxiety has become more accute, since I was raised by a mother who had a lot of mental issues (bipolarism, depression and anxiety). And thus was abusive physically, and emotionally. I never felt that I was good enough. I felt that I could never please her. And with her bipolarism, we all had to walk on egg shells, especially me. She was more focused on me, thus caused me more anxiety.. Well then I married my mother!. My husband of 24 years was very emotionally draining, since he too was an emotional abuser, and gave me plenty of emotional detachment, and abandonment to make it worse. As a consequence of my problems with my husband and his emotional detachments I started eating to feed the heart.. I am now obese and I hate myself! As mentioned earlier, my stress, anxiety, and depression have become acute throughout the years. I take medication for it but it has'nt rid of it in its entirety. My children are adults and as the Anxiety, and Worry Wort that I am, I stayed pretty anxious and tense throughout their upbringing, because this is how my mother was with us. As they became adults and started their own lives away from me it became horrible to think that I could not protect them, and watch out for them anymore, and what was it giving me? You're right! Accute anxiety, and depression! I continue living with this, and working day by day to make it better. But when I seem to get to the point where I feel most comfortable, another situation comes along that would cause me anxiety. I have this horrendous anxiety, fear, and worry that my daughter will be at harms way, that she will get hurt bad, or even killed! I continously think about this. I try to make myself feel better by saying that she will be ok, but then the worry, fear, and the anxiety slowly creep in again and it starts all over!..It is something that has made me lose my sleep, I cannot focus at work, or day to day things. So what I ask of you is how do I combat this horrendous feeling of doom, worry, anxiety and fear? I have tried many times, but I don't know how to work on this to make it better! She will be leaving on Friday, and I don't know how I am going to deal with this!! What can I do? PLEASE HELP!! I want to wish her a safe return, but with all this negative thinking I am sooo afraid that I will attract the worse! For example, For her to be in harms way, to get hurt, or even possibly..I don't want to think about it!! PLEASE HELP! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!! :,-(

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I am sorry to hear of your suffering. I was able to overcome a lifetime of severe anxiety with music and wellness tools that I am happy to share with you. FREE! go to http://www.carolandeacon.com

May 30, 2012 - 10:50am
EmpowHER Guest

i too have been through boughts of horrible anxiety. are you on any bio identical hormone replacement? i found my really severe anxiety started in my late 30s. then i tried everything, nothing worked. then i found GABA and it literally saved my life.. look on "swansons.com" for the freshest and best deal though you can also get it at the health food store. i take about 1500 mgs a day, sometimes more depending on how i'm feeling. and look up the studies that have been don't with it on victims of ptsd. it was truly a miracle for me and later i started bioidentical hormone replacement as well and feel so much better. believe m i know how horrible severe anxiety is, it made me want to die, lterally. i also have a mantra that i do.. "im ok, i'm ok, i'm ok" i say it fast and for a long period of time. working out HARD also releases some of it. but the quickest result i ever had was from GABA. it works on the transmitters and drs will tell you it can't pass the blood. brain barrier but that is a load of crap because i took 1500 mg as soon as i got it and in 20 minutes i was calm and went to sleep aget being awake for 2 days straight and woke up feeling fantastic and my anxiety, when it comes up it totally managable and i can actually figure out what it is and how to deal with it. cognitive theapy is useful in figuring out where it came from and can teach you some coping skills but it's hard to implement those things when you are in the middle of freaking out, i know. give GABA a shot and good luck to you, i truly hope you find peace.

May 15, 2012 - 8:11am
EmpowHER Guest

If you decide to try my route to help, please feel free to call me. This is woman to woman, no solicitation of business - just one mother helping another. I would be happy to do it. You can feel good, I promise.
Amy D. Cohen, Strongest Minds

May 15, 2012 - 5:04am
EmpowHER Guest

There are 3 types of main anxiety disorders, so you have to fiure out what type you have first (generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder and social anxiety- if you have an anxiety disorder), the good news is the treatment is all the same. Worrying about several things excessively, a "worry wart" is best treated by an SSRI like Lexapro which is now generic and a benzodiazepine like long acting klonopin which will help you sleep, ativan if you are petite or sensiitive to meds and which wont make you tired or valium if you have back pain and get tired from klonopin. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can also help correct your innacurate thought patterns and can be adjunctive.
-Psychiatrist in Glendale (623) 878-2100

May 14, 2012 - 9:10pm
EmpowHER Guest

Hi Anon,

There are so many people- children, teens, women, men that deal with anxiety that seems to get worse, never better. I have been using Flower Remedies for myself and clients and have seen a beautiful reversal in of intense anxiety and worry. Anxiety for each of us feels different. Lets look at where your anxiety stems from and work with it. Read testimonials - there are some remedies that will help.
Look at Crowea for intense worry.
Understand that many times our children follow suit necause it is family patterning, it is genetics as well. I know how horrible it can be, having lived it myself. You can really help yourself naturally, profoundly and find the peace you are looking for. Your worry for your daughter comes from your anxiety and when you begin to start feeling peace using these wonderful remedies, all the worry will begin to disappear! www.strongestminds.com
Amy D. Cohen

March 6, 2012 - 2:44pm
EmpowHER Guest

Hi Anon,

Welcome to EmpowHER.  Sorry to hear this, I can imagine what you must be feeling.  It might be good to talk to your daughter and let her know how you feel about her leaving.  Also, while she is gone it might be good for you to seek couseling or psychotherapy.  That might help you with the anxiety and depression.  And your doctor might suggest Antidepressant medication, which will also help. 

I've included some, links I hope they help





January 26, 2012 - 4:27am
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