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How do you get feelings back of wanting sex? It has left me for 14 years now. I'm 60 years old and don't get in the mood.

By June 11, 2008 - 6:18pm
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How can a woman get in the mood to make love besides drinking alcohol.

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I'm kind of repeating myself here. I agree with #4 above.

I am the woman who has the pellets. I had a hysterectomy 21 years ago and NO doctor ever told me that taking everything that essentially made me a woman out of my body would render me with NO sex drive. For 16 years I had none.

I thank God everyday for the pellets. I get estrogen and testosterone implanted in my hip every 3-4 months. My sex drive skyrocketed. Desire, lubrication and orgasm went through the roof. 4 years later and I still have never felt better. I'm more confident, outgoing, self-assured, sexual and responsive than I've ever been.

I have about 15+ friends with pellets and some are not quite a balanced as I am and are still working towards the high libido. Yet we all agree that they are the best form of bhrt we've ever used.


June 12, 2008 - 4:06pm
(reply to njwhite)

I have never heard of pellets. Sounds like it could change my life and my husbands for the better.

Thank you so very much.

June 12, 2008 - 4:24pm

Definitely try some lubrication! It is extremely common for the man to "not last long enough", so your body is probably not even warmed up enough to become lubricated on its own...and he's already finished. I know, it is frustrating.

Astroglide is a great product. There are some other brands out there that advertise other benefits (they generate heat, have different flavors, etc.) that can be used in foreplay to enhance the experience and make it fun and different.

June 12, 2008 - 3:05pm

I "second" the book recommendation of Hot Monogamy by Dr. Love. I am in my 30s, and went to Dr. Love's seminar with a friend of mine (she is in her 40s), and the discussion was fabulous! There were women of ALL ages present, asking the same types of questions that you are.

My other thought when I read your message is, "it takes two to tango". How is your partner's libido? How does your partner feel about your relationship, including not only the sexual aspects but also the emotional, mental, physical, social, spiritual parts as well?

June 12, 2008 - 2:35pm
(reply to Alison Beaver)

I should read that book. Sounds good. I also have a problem with vaginal dryness. My 21 years of marriage partner is in the mood more than me. He can perform, no problem there, but he's quick to be done. He tries to make it last by withdrawing and then I get dry and it's useless. Guess some lubricant by the bed would help. Thank you for your advise,

June 12, 2008 - 2:43pm

Personally, and this is just me, I couldn't care less about my low libido, and I know why - it's stress! Both my hubby and I are dealing with a lot of chaos, and have been for over a year. We're exhausted! We try to steal away for a date with each other, every now and then, to share a little quality time. I'm close to 60, as well.

My vote is for taking a trip somewhere peaceful, beautiful and romantic. Get away from it all, so to say, so that you two can focus on you two, relax and breathe. It may be a lot to ask after 14 years of not feeling any desire; but, perhaps you just need a change of space.

Romance opens the door to desire, that opens the door to whatever you want from your partner, in my opinion.

June 11, 2008 - 8:12pm

You may want to check out this video of another 60-old-woman who shares her story about sexuality at 60 ...


We also have this article about the affects of hormone replacement therapy on libido


And from Dr. Christiane Northrup (a favorite of Oprah's) we have the following tips:

1. Overcome cultural barriers.
2. Update your relationship. Communicating with your partner is the key to maintaining a healthy sexual relationship. While you may have a good relationship, it may be time to renegotiate some of the terms. Question what is no longer viable in your relationship and work with your partner on rekindling your passion together.
3. Make time for yourself and your partner. It can be hard to make the transition from caring for everyone else to taking care of yourself. When you make time for yourself, and allow some time to connect with your partner, your passion for each other will return.
4. Get your hormone levels checked. Androgens are the hormones associated with libido; however, declining levels of estradiol (E2) can also affect a woman’s potential for sexual arousal. Having a baseline panel is ideal; it may help you to know what your hormones levels are when your sex drive is normal for you, so that if and when you notice a change, you can test your hormones again to see if anything has changed.
5. Try progesterone cream. A little progesterone cream is often all you need to restore your libido. As a precursor to estrogen and testosterone, progesterone is important in maintaining sufficiently high levels of the other hormones for optimal sexual pleasure. A normal balance of progesterone also acts as a mood stabilizer and supports normal thyroid function.
6. Use over-the-counter lubricants. Regular intercourse, itself, helps keep the vaginal tissue strong and well-vascularized. However, some women experience uncomfortable vaginal dryness during menopause, even though their libido is fine. There are plenty of treatments that can help with this problem, including over-the-counter lubricants. Other solutions to vaginal dryness include estriol vaginal cream, or herbal remedies taken systemically, such as black cohosh, wild yam, Dong Quai or chasteberry . Vitamin E suppositories are also helpful.
7. Exercise. There is hardly a menopausal symptom that exercise cannot help, including low libido.
8. Tell the truth about your sexuality. All humans are sexual by nature. How you choose to express your sexuality depends upon many factors including your upbringing, your hormones levels, your general overall health, and your level of satisfaction with your current partner, if you have one.
9. Read Hot Monogamy, by Dr. Patricia Love. Dr. Love has identified nine factors that can help sustain libido and cultivate a sensual relationship with your partner and yourself.

To read more, visit this link.

Please let us know what works best for you.

June 11, 2008 - 7:50pm
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