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I can't get through with sex with my boyfriend, what should I do?

By Anonymous March 28, 2016 - 8:24am
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So my boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for two months now, and we have tried to have sex a few times. He is very gentle and patient, and he never forces me to go through with it. I have been having problems with penetration, every time we tried it just hurt so much and he can never really get inside of me. I want to know what should I do? I don't want him to feel like he is not making me arouse to have sex and I am worry that it might push him away. We do foreplay, and I do get very wet, but it just can't make the pain go away. And it begins when he tries to insert at the opening of my vagina. Is there something wrong with me? What should I do to help with the problem? Thanks!

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Hello Anonymous,

Welcome to EmpowHER. I am so glad you reached out to us with your concerns.

It sounds like you are dealing with dyspareunia, which is defined as persistent or recurrent genital pain that occurs just before, during or after intercourse.

Anonymous, talk with your gynecologist. There are available treatments, which focus on the underlying cause, and can help eliminate or reduce this common problem.

I am happy to give you some general information.

Pain during penetration may be associated with a range of factors, including:

Insufficient lubrication. This is often the result of not enough foreplay. Insufficient lubrication is also commonly caused by a drop in estrogen levels after menopause, after childbirth or during breast-feeding.

Certain medications are known to inhibit desire or arousal, which can decrease lubrication and make sex painful. These include antidepressants, high blood pressure medications, sedatives, antihistamines and certain birth control pills.

Injury, trauma or irritation. This includes injury or irritation from an accident, pelvic surgery, female circumcision or a cut made during childbirth to enlarge the birth canal (episiotomy).
Inflammation, infection or skin disorder. An infection in your genital area or urinary tract can cause painful intercourse. Eczema or other skin problems in your genital area also can be the problem.

Vaginismus. Involuntary spasms of the muscles of the vaginal wall (vaginismus) can make attempts at penetration very painful.

Congenital abnormality. A problem present at birth, such as the absence of a fully-formed vagina (vaginal agenesis) or development of a membrane that blocks the vaginal opening (imperforate hymen), could be the underlying cause of dyspareunia.

You can learn much more by visiting http://www.empowher.com/media/reference/dyspareunia

Keep in touch,

March 28, 2016 - 9:18am
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