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I found out my wife has a penis???

By Anonymous October 5, 2014 - 8:52pm
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So my wife and I met a few years ago and I never have seen her naked so I just assumed that she was self concsious about her body and stuff. So when we got married, she told me she had a penis and stuff. Do I accept her or do I get a divorce because I feel like I have been lied to for 4 years???

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HERWriter Guide

Hi Anon

Thanks for your post and welcome! 

It sounds like your wife is a pre-op transsexual. This is someone who was physically born one sex but completely identifies with the opposite sex and lives life as such. 

Some transgendered people have their genitalia removed or modified. Others don't. This can be due to finances, or personal reasons. Some feel the need, others don't. 

Your wife was not honest with you. You may have entered into marriage wanting children with her - this will never happen. You are heterosexual - attracted to women. Your wife is certainly female from the inside, but still have male genitalia. 

Some couples can work through this - others cannot. If you cannot, you should not feel obligated to. A divorce is perfectly understandable and an annulment would be allowed. 

This is a decision only you can make. I think getting past the lies may be even harder than the fact that you married a male. Bear in mind - depending where you live - you may not even be legally married. 

I suggest talking this out with your wife, talking to a trusted friend or therapist. But most of all listen to what you want and follow suit. 

We wish you the best,


October 6, 2014 - 4:32am
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