My fiance and I have been together for over 3 years and we have a daughter who will be 2 this April. He struggles with depression and our relationship is a constant roller-coaster ride. He's wonderful through the ups- helps around the house, is very sweet to me, etc. But that doesn't matter because when we go through the negative part of the cycle he's just not worth it. He just wants to lay on the couch or play on his cell phone, acts like he's 15 years old, is a complete jerk and when I confront him about it he tells me it's my fault. He takes medication for the depression, but isn't as consistent as he should be. And when we argue during the lowest lows, it just isn't a good situation for anyone. He says very hurtful things to me during these arguments, completely toys with my emotions, and even threatens suicide. I refuse to let my daughter grow up in a household like this and refuse to be emotionally abused myself, and have told him that changes need to be made or I'm going to leave. And I know I should!
My problem is putting my words into action. I need to get out. But like a lot of women who I know have gone through this I wind up thinking and feeling things like "I don't want to end the relationship because I love him" or "Even though it's not my fault, I'd feel responsible if he did commit suicide." It's as if he's two people in one. I'm so very in love with and had a whole future planned with one half of him, but I know that I can't have the other in my life. I've made plans in my head to leave before, and I've threatened to many times... How do I just make myself DO it?
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