Facebook Pixel

im a virgin and my boyfriend wants sex but i dont

By December 7, 2009 - 6:42pm
Rate This

like my boyfriend is like a sexual person and im not because im a virgin and like i kinda wanna do it some time but he keeps asking me but i feel like thats all he wants from me because alot of guys wanna have sex with me but i turn them down and i think he is like them

Add a Comment5 Comments

I'm 17, my boyfriend is 21 in the state I live in it's legal thank you age of consent. My boyfriend waited until I was ready to have sex, because I was a virgin and he wasn't. It's got to be your choice not his. You have to do what's best for you. If he pressures you into something you don't want to do you lose a part of yourself, and if it's the wrong time you'll desperately want it back.

February 15, 2011 - 7:01pm
EmpowHER Guest

i'm so happy i read this because i was having the same problem. My bf asked me for sex 1000 times and i kept saying no, we stopped talking for 3 days and then i tried making thing better, i asked him if he really loves me then he has to respect my feelings and the decision i've made, he then said i understand you but your selfish! So i asked him to take a last decision and he gave me 2 options to choose from, either have it or leave eachother, so i chose the second option to leave eachother. I will get hurt because this relationship was going on more than 2/3 years but now i have realised he is not the one for me.

By reading the comments above ^^ made me feel that i've made the right decision.

February 11, 2011 - 8:34am
EmpowHER Guest

Don't let anyone tell you that you need to have sex to prove your love. You are wise to save yourself for the right person, hopefully it will be in marriage relationship. If he really cares for you, he will wait until you are ready. You will find that the guys in your life will respect you more if you are a virgin than not. I was a virgin until my wedding night, and I am so glad I didn't give my body to anyone but my husband. Listen to your heart, and do what is right. If your boyfriend isn't willing to wait, then you are better off without him.

December 8, 2009 - 11:24am


I agree very much with Rosa. You have to stand your ground here. You have to trust your own feelings. You didn't say how old you are, but it really doesn't matter. Whether you are 14 or 24, when you say No, it means No.

If it helps your argument, though, feel free to set an 'age" goal that you don't want to have sex before. For instance, if you are 15, you can tell your boyfriend that you are just not going to have sex until you are 17, period. And that if he wants to stay around, that's great, but he needs to know that even if he asks 100 times, your answer is going to be no, at least until you are 17.

It would be interesting to see if, knowing that you mean it, if your boyfriend still stays with you and respects your point of view. If he doesn't, then you will know you were right to be so careful.

Hang in there, moosiebaby. No one should pressure you for sex if you don't want to have it. It's a decision for you and you alone to make, when you are ready to.

December 8, 2009 - 10:01am


If you feel as though your boyfriend is pressuring you to have sex with him all the time and this makes you uncomfortable then I think it's best for you to tell him how you feel and that if he chooses to stay with you knowing that sex is NOT an option, then he needs to respect you and the decision you've made. I know it's hard to have to constantly say no to sex when you're young and being pressured into it but standing your ground is important.

If he can't understand that you are not ready for sex then I think it's best you two part ways. You will find someone who understands an respects you. Good Luck, please keep us posted.

December 8, 2009 - 6:27am
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy
Add a Comment

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.

Sex & Relationships

Get Email Updates

Resource Centers

Sex & Relationships Guide

HERWriter Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.


Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!