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My Bf Wants To Stop Having Sex

By November 22, 2010 - 4:09pm
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Basically my boyfriend is paranoid about me becoming pregnant, and when I say paranoid I mean paranoid! He even thinks I'm pregnant if I'm on my period. So recently he has decided that he doesn't want to have sex any more, and seeing as we are only 17, and a baby isn't right for us at the minute, I accept this decision. I'm still finding it hard to adjust though. I accept his decision and I don't want to force him into anything. But it's just a shock to have gone from having sex or even just talking about it every other day, to nothing at all. He also likes to feel my body, and teases me a lot, which doesn't help. Because when I'm all geared up and ready to go, he just stops because hes not ready for sex. I don't know what to do, it's making me feel not as close to him, but I don't want to force him into anything. I just want to know how I can adjust to this new life of abstinence. Especially seeing as I'm naturally very motherly, and I would love a baby, as naive and silly as that sounds.

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Hi Peppery_Sneezes

Thanks for your post and I love your screen name!

Just to cut to the chase, please don't tell me you're watching Teen Mom - the nightmare that has become cool reality for way to many young women?!

You are 17 - you are far too young for a child and lots of young women feel motherly - so they make great babysitters! Please don't even consider something as life changing (and statistically, highly poverty-inducing for someone of your age) for at least several years.

You do need to respect your boyfriend's wishes and I don't blame him for being paranoid. What you are going to have to decide is if a non-sexual (yet romantic) relationship is ok with you. Are you ok limiting things this way? I do understand that his foreplay actions and then the sudden break away can be very frustrating and honestly, a bit unfair to you. But lots of people have a relationship this way (especially younger ones) and things work out fine. You also have masturbation to fall back on; including mutual masturbation.

Or, of course, you can tell him that you're not happy with these limits and move on while staying friendly. But these will be your choices. The most important thing is to not put pressure on him to have sex or complain about it. He has made his choice, and now it's time to make yours!

I wish you the best, I know you're in a tricky spot. Let us know how things progress for both of you and hopefully the ultimate decision will have both of you feeling ok about things, and each other.

Take care of yourself,

November 24, 2010 - 12:21pm
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