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My husband masterbates a lot and then when we have sex it takes forever for him to ejaculate. Help!

By Anonymous May 10, 2011 - 5:51pm
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My husband and I have been married for almost a year now. Before that we dated for about 2 years. He is such a kind and loving husband. He is very supportive and I love him with all my heart. The only problem we have is our sex life. The problem is when we have sex it takes him forever to ejaculate. Most the time we will go and go and it won't happen until I give him a hand job after or he does himself. It is really frustrating because it makes sex more like a choir then fun when you are going at it forever with no results. It has really made me not want to have sex because it is such a choir. I know that he masturbates all the time because I have walked in on him on many occasions. I usually don't say anything when I see him because I don't want to embarrass him and I know that it is normal for a man. I am just afraid that he masturbates so much that he can't get off while we have sex. I know he watches a ton of porn also because any time I get on his computer it is all over his history. Is there any fix to this? Is it me?

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Hi Anon,

In addition to what MaryAnn has said, I just want to reassure you that it is NOT you. Your husband has become so used to masturbating and ejaculating through pornography, that doing it any other way makes it difficult for him to orgasm. It's definitely something that needs to be worked on either professionally or through you both but he must be wiling to cut back significantly on the porn, otherwise it's useless.

Keep us posted-- all the best,


May 11, 2011 - 7:14am

I can understand your concern, that in an otherwise happy relationship, you are not having a fulfilling sexual experience with the man you love so much. I am inclined to think there is an emotional or psychological issue that your husband has that causes him to reach sexual satisfaction from pornography and masturbation instead of from intimacy with you. I suggest that you both seek couples counseling soon, before this matter continues and undermine your marriage.

May 10, 2011 - 5:54pm
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