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my husband no longer wants intimacy with me...cant cope

By Anonymous September 8, 2013 - 8:14am
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my husband and i have been married 18 years. Just over 2 years ago he had an affair and on confronting him said needed sexual excitement. We worked through it, or so i thought. About 2 months ago i noticed he avoided me and i questioned him, just said he had some issues he needed to deal with. two nights ago it was too much for me to keep this distance between us and told him we needed to resolve whatever it was that was bothering him. Well he shocked me,said that he couldnt have sex with me because i dont satisfy him, excite. He claims he loves me and wants to stay married to me and support me. But would get his satisfaction elsewhere in future, not yet but that it was inevitable. I was blown away. He is expecting me to work for our family , be his "friend" ,maid, and a 'nun' while he goes out and has his fun and comes home to me who does the rest. Does anyone know how i should deal with this?

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Your husband may have problem of his own and dare not admit.Who knows?he may have impotency problem and cannot have erection.He dare not say it to you openly because of his ego of personality as a man.So he has chosen to protect his egoism of superiority by telling you that he has lost interest in you,instead of telling that he find it impossible to satisfy you.
Psychologically speaking he may be a sick man. Go to see a psychiatrist .Maybe he can help.

September 15, 2013 - 9:37pm
EmpowHER Guest

Hi Anon,

Welcome to EmpowHER.  It's important to have open communication and let him know how you feel about his decision.  If this is something you don't agree with,  then it's time for you to make a decision on this relationship.  No man can love you as his wife and woman and go around with other women.  There is no need for you to put up with his decision.  Am sure you will be able to find someone that loves you in every way and will know how to appreciate you, more then he does.

Best of luck,


September 8, 2013 - 5:25pm
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