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I've been married for almost a year but I've lived with him for over two. When we were first dating i saw pictures of naked girls on his computer but it didn't bother me because thats what alot of guys do. Multiple times after we got married I found that he was still downloading LOTS of porn and it made me upset and he told me that the pictures didn't mean anything and that he would delete them, which he always did. Recently I went to look for a file on his external hard-drive and found literally hundreds of thousands of pictures and videos of naked women including lots of non-nude pictures of many of my girlfriends (Very clearly an addict) It makes me feel so insecure about myself even though I'm perfectly thin and in the times before I resorted to extreme exercise and starving myself to get a body like the girls he looks at but its never enough. We've all but lost the spice in our sex life because he never makes any attempt to be romantic and I feel like I'm almost being cheated on considering my husband spend hours a day online. I want to go to him yet again and tell him how i feel but thats never stopped him before. Do I just "get over it"? I don't think this is worth getting a divorce over, we havn't even been married a year. Lastly we are very young, I'm 19 and he's 21 but were both very mature and are about to buy a house.
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Hi Musicchild,
July 10, 2011 - 8:37amThank you for your question and welcome to EmpowHer. I am sorry to hear that you are feeling down about your husband’s pornography addiction. The first thing you should learn is that his addiction does not reflect anything about your personal appearance or your actions as it is his addiction even though it directly affects you and I know that it is painful.
Is your husband open to the idea that he may have a problem? Here is a website that may be helpful for him if he is open to the idea http://www.sexhelp.com/.
As for your sense of YOU, there are great support groups called Al-Anon which is mainly for the loved ones of alcohol and drug addicts but the idea of addiction is the same. I attended meetings myself from a previous relationship and it certainly helped me understand that THEY (as in the addict) become our addiction and they teach you great steps to remove yourself from your own addiction which is feeling down about yourself and keeping yourself busy searching for his addiction on the computer. Here is their website http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/.
Good luck and I hope this helps.
Missie
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February 1, 2016 - 2:42amThis Comment