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Ok so I'm torn. Should I try again or move on?

By Anonymous February 7, 2013 - 10:30am
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I have been in a relationship for a year. Throughout this year my boyfriend and I have fought the very least once a week about the smallest things. He is a very negative person. Not to point the fingers but most of our fights start with him being upset about something. Or him just plain out attacking me when he is insecure. I love him so much when we get along it is like heaven. But we have like one or two days out of a month like that. The rest of the time it is us fighting in controllably then recovering. We have broken up and tried to work things out before and always end up in the same boat. This time. I broke it off because I feel very emotionally drained and like he is holding me back from happiness. He wants to try again. He says he loves me. I love him to and don't want to let go but he won't even go to counseling to help with his insecurities and confidence. Then I feel like if I leave him now then all of the sudden he's going to change and be happy and I will have missed out. What do I do? Stay strong and keep moving forward. Or go back? This is so hard. I really wanted us to work. I even started counseling so I can work all my issues out so we had even less to fight about. Once I started that and was happy and being positive and then he attacked me started saying that I didn't love him and stuff until I lost all positivity too. I hate feeling miserable. But I also don't want to be without him.

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Hello Anonymous,
I can hear your pain and frustrations through your words. It is apparent that you are emotionally torn and are holding on to the hope that things between you and your boyfriend will improve.

It is very disappointing that your boyfriend refuses to seek counseling. Thankfully, you are in therapy and feeling better about yourself.

Individual counseling for your boyfriend and couples counseling would be so beneficial. It is impossible to make someone do something that he doesn't want to do.

Please consider if this relationship is really worth saving before you devoted too many years of your life.


February 7, 2013 - 1:33pm
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