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for the past 3yrs. i think thats about when i started going through menopause, i have no desire for sex just the thought of it makes me sick. i force my self to have sex with my husband even though i can't stand it. my question is will it get better?

By May 17, 2015 - 11:56am
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i used to have a very healthy sex life. i just cannot stand it any more. it is sometimes painful but even when it isn't i hate it. i really want it back. i have tried a lot of things. i am wondering if my medication has anything to do with it. i havn't had an orgasm in almost 4 yrs. is there any hope or is it over for me? i should add that with my chronic back pain it makes it difficult to do as well.

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HERWriter Guide

Hi woody6498

Thanks for your post. You're definitely not alone with this problem. 

Low estrogen levels responsible for other notorious menopausal symptoms like hot flashes and decreased sleep also contribute to altered arousal thresholds and overall interest in sex. During menopause, a woman may not respond to the same turn-ons or triggers that she had only years before, and all this is normal.

In addition to a baseline decrease in libido, other factors complicate the issue. Decreased estrogen also decreases blood supply to the vagina, creating a drier and potentially more irritated environment. Issues with bladder control and sleep disturbance can also interfere, as can depression and other stressors that may arise around the menopause.

The Cleveland Clinic suggests the following tips for improving sex drive. Water-soluble lubricants like Astroglide or K-Y Jelly can improve vaginal dryness, and distraction techniques to relax can decrease anxiety that may arise during this transitional period.

While the research to support using hormone replacement to increase sexual drive during menopause is a somewhat conflicting, some doctors do prescribe combined estrogen and progesterone pills for this purpose. Like with hormone replacement for other menopausal symptoms however, you should discuss the length of time using hormones and risks/benefits of use with your care provider first.

Another promising option includes couples sex therapy to improve intimacy and arousal. Professionals trained in treating sexual dysfunction commonly address issues with sexual arousal, orgasm achievement and painful intercourse to name a few. According to MayoClinic.com, this type of therapy can be very effective, even after just a few sessions (although the length of time recommended will vary by individual or couple).

Lastly, it's important to remember that intimacy involves a lot more than the act of sexual intercourse alone. As our bodies and sexual desires change over time, so should our creativity in thinking up new ways to express love with our partners.



May 18, 2015 - 5:09am
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