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Pregnancies/ Late Periods

By October 30, 2009 - 2:19pm
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Anyway, I am sixteen years old.
My boyfriend and I have sex on occasion, but not a lot.
I've told him I do not want to have sex until next year now. Each time we do it I freak out about pregnancy, and its really unenjoyable for me the next day spending hours researching online about pregnancies.
I think I'm just being over-paranoid.
Each time my boyfriend and I have sex, we use a condom, and he even pulls out before he comes, then he squeezes the condom, to guarantee there are NO holes what so ever for precum to have gotten through.

We are both overly careful, wash our hands, if he gets any cum anywhere, we wash them and so on.
We had sex... the 24th and 25th of this month, I think, and maybe 22nd or earlier.
I freaked out, as usual, though nothing had gone wrong, and it was all safe..
But, now my period was meant to have started on the 30th, but the thing is, I don't think my period has settled yet, it was on the 30 last month but it varies a lot. But, I'm beyond freaked. I've spent all morning looking up EVERYTHING, abortion pills, pregnancy tests, stress causing late periods (ive been under so much stress at school lately.) But yeah, I think I'm just freaking out, but I don't know what to do. Is there ANY chance I could be pregnant...?
I think I'm going to wait until 3 more days, then maybe take the pregnancy test.
I do not have ANY signs or symptons of pregnancy.
Am I just being over-paranoid like I normally am...

Thanks a lot. Just need to know SOMEONE can help me need be,
since I cannot talk to my mother about this stuff, since she does not know I've had sex, and I really do not want her to find out.

Add a Comment6 Comments

(: Thank you. I am too. He was laughing at me though, he said "most people get this happy when they ARE pregnant, silly" :P

I'm not sure how long. Yeah, I know its going to be hard, so chances are it won't be too long, maybe when I am seventeen. But yeah, even then I'll worry, so I think, if I decide to get sexually active again, I'll take up your advice and go talk to a doctor about other things I can do to ensure my own peaceful state of mind after sex.

I've heard from a pharmasist that if you aren't properly developed things like the birth control pill and all can meddle with some things and make you over-emotional or something, I didn't ask too much into detail because this was before I was even considering having sex.

November 2, 2009 - 11:47am
(reply to ScaredEasily)


Sounds like a good plan. And when you decide to seek more information on any sort of birth control, I hope you'll come back to us with any questions!

Here's part of what the pharmacist may have meant:

In a normal female cycle, your own hormones in your brain tell your body when to build up the uterine lining (in case of a pregnancy), when to release an egg (ovulation), and when to shed that lining if no pregnancy occured (which is your period.) When you are on birth control, the hormones in the pills take over that role. They override your body's own hormones, and they set your cycle at a fixed 28 days. And anytime you are working with hormones, you have the possibility of an emotional response. (Have you heard of pregnant women saying that they are "so hormonal!" and that it's making them cry, or clean the house, or eat ice cream? Or have you heard of women with PMS talk about how "hormonal" they are at that time of month? Those are examples of how a surge of hormones (in one way or another) can affect our emotions.

Even with that in mind, however, it's better to use some form of birth control rather than to risk an unwanted pregnancy. So when you've decided that is what you want, your doctor will talk over different kinds and side effects with you.

You take care. And I hope we see you again when you have more questions!

November 3, 2009 - 8:36am

Thanks to you both for advice.
I do not fancy getting on any birth control, because I know that can muck-up your systems if your not properly developed, etc.
And I can talk to my mother with the greatest ease, I just know she won't approve of this, and I don't want to disappoint her is all. (:

My period has started so the worry had completely gone.
I do enjoy the sex, its amazing, especially because its with him.
But yeah, the days afterwards worrying, aren't so amazing.

And don't worry I've already approached him and told him no sex until I won't freak out, and he's said he's completely fine with that.

So, I'm over the moon happy.
Thank you both (:

November 1, 2009 - 10:55am
(reply to ScaredEasily)


I'm so glad that you got your period and that all is well.

I'm also really happy to hear that your boyfriend accepts your request to wait on having sex again until you are more comfortable with it. And it is good to know that when you did have sex, you were very careful about the condom, etc.

Realistically, though, how long would you like to wait? Two months? Six months? A year? Even at 16 or 17 you are going to worry about pregnancy, and I don't see you waiting THAT long with a boyfriend you obviously care about.

I'm not sure what you mean about birth control "mucking up" your systems until you're properly developed. Can you tell me more about that? Who told you that?

It may be that the best thing for you to do is -- when you decide to be sexually active again -- to find a doctor you can talk to about this, and hear her opinions about birth control and how it would affect you. Would you be able to do that?

Again, so happy that all is well this time. Let's figure out how to keep you "over the moon" happy!

November 2, 2009 - 8:55am
HERWriter Guide

Hi Scared Easily

In addition to Pat's great information, I'd like to suggest that you think about stopping sexual activity for now. You have said you want to stop and are not ready for this kind of relationship and I think you're making a great point. Many people start having sex at your age and do fine with it. Obviously, based on teen pregnancy and disease rates and the many questions we receive from many unhappy teens, many others are not ready.

Sex should be fun, exciting, loving and safe. If you are freaking out over the possible outcomes of sex, then it's not fun, exciting or safe for you and just isn't worth it.

Don't look back in later years and regret doing things at a young age that you simply weren't ready for. Contrary to popular belief, not all 16 year olds are having sex and it's not a "cool" thing to do, especially when you don't enjoy it and are miserable and scared after. Why do something that makes you unhappy?

My advice is to tell your boyfriend that you're not ready. If he's a good guy, he'll stick around. If he doesn't, then that'll tell you what you're missing; not much. Sex is an important part of adult relationships but not young teen ones. We "old folk" have many more means and ways of coping with the bad stuff sex brings, as well as the good.

You are not being overly paranoid. Do you know that one in every four teen girls in America has a sexually transmitted disease? Condoms don't protect well against HPV (the virus that is connected to cervical cancer) and teen pregnancies are on the rise again, after dropping in recent years. You are not paranoid, you are smart.

I'm not telling you to give up sex. I'm saying that since you don't enjoy sex now, and want to wait another year before resuming sexual activity, then think long and hard about this. You may find you are happier, safer and wiser for it. Like Pat said, you have an intuitive sense that something is amiss and I think sex is something that you are just not ready for. You sound like a very smart young woman and you are only 16, sweetheart. Don't rush into things that your heart (and head) are telling you you're not ready for yet.

I wish you the best and hope to hear back from you.

October 31, 2009 - 5:25am
HERWriter Guide

Hello ScaredEasily -
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so scared...or as you say, freaking out and over paranoid. It sounds as if you haven't, or feel you can't, discuss your situation, or your fears, with your mother, and are turning to us for help.
If you are having sex, you need to be taking responsibility for birth control. As scary as you may find it to just talk about this, you need to find a way to learn more about this and take precautions.

I'm going to suggest some videos that address how to either talk with your mom, or seek out other resources to get education about birth control methods and choose the method that's right for you.




Underneath the fear you're feeling is most likely an intuitive sense that's telling you that you need to be doing more. I applaud your courage in writing in, and wish you the best in overcoming your fears and going forward. Let us know what you decide to do.
Take good care,

October 30, 2009 - 6:42pm
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