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By November 22, 2010 - 6:34pm
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My wife's father killed himself when she was a teenager. She was recently robbed at gunpoint at work and told that she was going to die that day. Her ex-husband beat her badly. In other words, lots of trauma. Paranoid Schizophrenia runs in her family. I have begged and pleaded with her to seek help. As soon as I begin to suggest that she needs help dealing with her emotions she explodes. Her children are affraid to be around her and want to get away. I am in the middle of divorcing her. She is unapproachable. I feel very strongly that she will never be happy if she doesn't get help. Like many other types of illness the hardest part is getting someone to look at themselves to see if they are contributing to the destruction in their life. I hope you can help. Is there anyone that can help me to help her?

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HERWriter Guide

cigarman - Thanks for writing and for wanting to find a way to help your wife. You're in a very delicate situation and this has to be hard on you. Have you considered doing something along the lines of the interventions that are done for addicts? I realize that your wife isn't dealing with an addiction, but from the information you've provided it looks like she is experiencing mental stress and perhaps mental illness, and is in need of help. I would think you could work with a trained mental health professional to develop some type of intervention for her in which the people who care about her, and a skilled facilitator, have a sit down meeting with her to spell out their concerns and the consequences for her if she continues on the same path. There needs to be an option for her to go to if she does decide to get help, as well as your own plans for what you will do if she doesn't participate. It's not something you'd want to take on all by yourself. Are you comfortable with working with a counselor or psychologist or psychiatrist who is skilled in this area? If so, this could be a possible solution for your situation. You may also want to consider getting some counseling for your children if your wife's behavior has been impacting their lives too.

Good luck to you, and I hope this helps.

November 23, 2010 - 6:51pm
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