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Sex and Menopause - what a gyp!

By June 13, 2011 - 6:23am
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Well, I've posted on here for the last year or so about my hot flashes and this awful menopause I'm going through. I finally caved in and three weeks ago started HRT because the hot flashes are actually getting worse.

Sweating like a pig every ten minutes for four minutes at a time is simply unbearable and I rarely leave the house now because of this. These are no ordinary hot flashes IMO, but some bad joke played on me for something I must have done in the past!

Anyway, another problem I've been experiencing is painful sex.
Doctor after doctor tells me this is normal due to the small capillaries 'breaking' during sex and the lack of elasticity in the skin due to normal aging. Thanks, more garbage to deal with!

At this point I'm hoping this is a problem and not par for the course of menopause. Having sex with my partner is like having sex with a penis made of cactus! It seriously hurts that bad.
I've got all the lubricants, use Replense regularly and it's not helping. Why? Because it's not inside the vagina that is causing the pain but the tissue outside surrounding it.

My libido is FINE! I have been "lucky" that way but the curse of that is the pain. Instead of looking forward to sex with my partner I find myself avoiding it at all costs.

I looked forward to stopping my period, little did I know that I'd be begging for my hormones and even my period back if this is the result of "aging gracefully"!

Does anyone know a solution to this? This has got to be as awful as the damn hot flashes (that the hormones are not settling down yet)!

Add a Comment7 Comments

I would like to know more about Estrace and Premarin.. At what frequency is this applied? Daily? for how long?? And , I'm sorry to ask also, but, regarding Oral Sex,, how long should I be 'off' the premarin to make sure it's out of my body?? Always, afraid I'm going to scare someone away!!

January 4, 2012 - 1:33pm
EmpowHER Guest

All you might need for your vaginal pain is vaginal estrogen. I am surprised that your doctors did not offer this to you. There is no reason in this day and age that a women has painful sex because of menopause. Applying estrogen cream on the inside and out will keep the tissues healthy and strong.

June 14, 2011 - 1:39pm
(reply to Anonymous)

Can you give me the names of some of these creams so I can do my own research on them?

June 15, 2011 - 5:42am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to D❀isy)

There is Estrace and Premarin vaginal cream that you can get with a prescription at a regular pharmacy. Also research Vaginal atrophy.If this is the beginning of what you have by using the cream you should feel fine in a few weeks.

June 15, 2011 - 12:42pm
HERWriter Guide

Hi Daisy

Thanks for your post and I'm sorry menopause is such a pill for you. Some women get lucky but many more have all the worst symptoms like hot flashes, insomnia and the like.

Regarding the hot flashes, I'm sorry the HRT hasn't worked in that regard. Give it a bit more time.

Here is an article on treatments, most of them natural - they may help you: http://www.empowher.com/hot-flashes/content/hot-flashes-treatments-may-help

Also, with regard to sex being as painful as you describe (I had shivers just thinking about a cactus) - this doesn't seem relative to menopause, especially since your outer genitalia seem to be where the pain is. You may be suffering from something called Vulvodynia. Have you heard of this? Take a look here and tell me what you think- http://www.empowher.com/condition/vulvodynia

I hope to hear back from you!

June 13, 2011 - 12:46pm
(reply to Susan Cody)

My doctor may wind up increasing or even stopping the HRT on me. I will know before Wednesday next week I hope! I had a mammogram recently and I need a "do over". Cross your fingers its just that. I realize that it's only 3 weeks into treatment so I know that it could take more time or more time and an adjustment.

Susan, I've read quite a few of the articles on the link page you gave here and I can safely say it is not Vulvodynia. At least I hope not! The symptoms described do not fit what is going on. There are no flare ups, just the pain during sex. No inflammation, nothing of the typical symptoms.

But, knowing me and knowing that the weird and unusual are par for the course, I won't rule anything out. I will bring it up when I see him next.

I wish you guys had an iPhone app so I can easily bring this stuff up to the doc while there!

June 15, 2011 - 5:36am
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