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what i shoud do?......i lost my virginity and now i m no longer with my boyfriend? will anybody else marry me now?

By Anonymous April 28, 2009 - 11:56pm
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i m 18 yrs girl. i had a boyfrd .he love me very much and once we did sex also. but now i have to leave him becoz he is of different caste and my family do not agree so i left him...

now i m in tension.....now what i should do.? will anybody else marry me now...
now what i should say to the boy whom my parents would select for me..?
i should tell him abt that sex....or not.?plz tell me what i should do?

Add a Comment5 Comments

EmpowHER Guest

any one say me is there medical ways to find that i have had sex with a boy other than my hubby? pls help me i am help less

July 1, 2010 - 12:30am
EmpowHER Guest

Be confused. It promotes learning.

May 6, 2009 - 6:33am
EmpowHER Guest

I think it is more common to find young teenage woman having premarital sex. You are certainly not the first or the last. It appears that your religious, family, etc. beliefs are what causing the stress in your life. If that is the case, is it really anyone else’s business what you have done? You shared an intimate moment with someone you cared for and that should be between you and him.

I am a very honest person in general but I think some things are better left unsaid. Not a lie, but an exaggeration of the truth. Is it important to be a virgin in your culture?

May 2, 2009 - 10:12am
EmpowHER Guest

I do not understand wheter you are more worried about what to tell the boy chosen by your family as your husband, or about the fact that you cannot choose your love.
Are you really going to leave a man who loves you because he is poor and your family does not want you to marry him? Did your family really select a husband for you? I did not think that this could happen in 2009.

Do you think that the caste system is good? Do you think that girls do not have the right to choose their husband? Do you love that boy?
Please try to answer these questions, try to use your own brain and heart. I hope that you will decide that it's time to change your society's mentality, as we europeans did 40 years ago.

May 1, 2009 - 3:16am
HERWriter Guide

Hi Anon

Thanks for your question!

I assume you are from India (by mentioning the caste system). I'm sorry you are having anxiety over this issue but please know that many women feel this kind of stress and pressure about sex, based on family, cultural, religious, and societal views.

Depending on your own beliefs - it may or may not be necessary to tell anyone about your past sexual history - however brief.

However, nobody can tell you what to do - this is a decision that must come from you, based on your own thoughts and beliefs.

Are you worried that another man may not like you, because you have had sex? Please remember that sex is a joint responsibility shared by the two people who participated in it. The responsibility should not be on the woman's shoulders alone.

Is sex something you are not supposed to participate in until marriage? Please give us a little more information about your background (you don't have to give your name or any kind of details you are uncomfortable with) and we would love to help you further.

April 29, 2009 - 8:26am
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