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What should I do with my bf for two years who doesn't listen?

By June 20, 2014 - 1:53am
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Okay so I told him already that I don't like it when he's watching porn because it feels like I'm not enough for him. And also we don't have sex that much like we used to. The other thing to is that I'd ask him to spend time with me but he'd rather spend it with his friends. We're going to be two years next week and he used to always there for me. I don't know what else to do because it seems like I'm the only one who's trying. Someone please tell me what's wrong. How many times do I have to cry in front of him while telling him what I really feel?

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HERWriter Guide

Hi blackrose,

Thank you for your post and I am sorry you are in this troubled relationship. 

The answer to the last part of your post is zero - that is how many more times you should cry in front of him, telling him how you feel. 

Your boyfriend knows how you feel - you have told him, many times. 

Now the questions are - why do your feelings not matter to him? Why is he doing nothing about your relationship that is clearly in trouble? Why are you doing all the work? Why doesn't he want to spend time with you or have sex with you? Why is he choosing porn, instead of a proper relationship?

Only he can answer these questions but it doesn't seem like he really wants to. It seems he wants life with you on his terms and that is something that only he can change.

Begging or pleading is not going to work and it's beneath you to do this. 

People show you who they really are and how they really feel by their words and behaviors so going by his behavior, he's showing you that he is not particularly interested in making you happy. 

My advice is to tell him that the relationship isn't working as is. And that you both need to work on it. If he is willing, then you have a future together. If he isn't, you need to move on. I know that two years can seem like a long time but this is the first two years together - this is the time that everything should still be wonderful - this is the honeymoon period! So many problems at this stage don't bide well for the future. 

Blackrose, you deserve a happy life and a good relationship. If this isn't working for you, then find the courage to move on. 

Has this helped?



June 20, 2014 - 1:27pm
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