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Why can't a guy stick to his plans?

By Anonymous September 21, 2014 - 6:43pm
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This guy and I have planned to meet up and go out countless times. The day before I asked him if we were still on for that night and he replied with "oh for sure" or something like that. And then I asked him if he was was ready he could come over and then all of the sudden he's with his bros? That's happened TWICE now. Just to keep in mind I am in high school, yes I do know I have my whole life ahead of me to worry about boys and so on but I also have my whole life to be prepared for guys like this don't I? I really need some help on this please!

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HERWriter Guide

Hi Anon

Thanks for your question! 

All boys aren't like this guy you are dealing with. He's probably not interested in you (guys who are really interested in a girl will usually drop everything to see her) as a girlfriend, but more as a friend. 

He may not know how to tell you - he's young too, and figuring things out. But he could also be an uncaring person who doesn't really care that he is letting you down. Some people can be like that. 

As you go through life, you'll learn to fight for something worth fighting for, and you'll learn how to walk away when you need to. In fact, as I have gotten older, I've learned that walking away is the better option in many instances. It's saves my time and dignity! Don't work hard for something that's not going to happen or for a guy who isn't interested.  Save your energy. 

In the case of this guy, remain friends but don't put yourself in this vulnerable position again. Let him make the plans and see what follows. It's not like he's working when he promised to be with you, he's hanging out with his friends. So make your own plans and go out with other guys you like, if and when that happens. 

We speak more with our actions than our words. His actions are saying he's not a good candidate for dating.

Ask yourself some questions about boys. Do they make you feel good about yourself? Can you trust them? Do you feel better after spending time with them? If the answers are no - walk away. It's hard to do sometimes, especially if you have strong feelings for them. But if those feelings aren't returned, it isn't a slight against you. You're simply not a right match with them. You're not a good match for this guy - it's not your fault, or his, it's just how it is. But don't put yourself in a position where he lets you down again. 

Remain open to relationships and keep them fun and light like they should be. The decent guys are out there. 



September 22, 2014 - 5:32am

First thing is to look inside yourself and decide just why you allow this to occur more than once. You must DECIDE ...YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THIS...cause You are..... As a young woman its important to first decide what you will allow and not allow a man to do in your life...stand tall..and never waver from what u know is right....Everyone makes time for what is important in their life...if he does not treat you in this manner please open your heart to a young man who will.....YOU ARE IN CONTROL..TAKE CHARGE LADY AND MOVE ON....

September 22, 2014 - 5:25am
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