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Why is climaxing so difficult as to make it unenjoyable?

By Anonymous April 16, 2013 - 1:44pm
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I'm a 40 year old woman, I have always had trouble climaxing, whether masturbation or with a partner. I never climaxed with a man and eventually found a same-sex relationship more satisfying both emotionally and mentally but physically I still struggle to climax. I don't know why, I don't have a history of sexual abuse, depression, anxiety, health concerns or take any medication. I am healthy, active, have very good keagle muscles and am in the prime of health. I can climax but it takes such a long time and a lot of effort it's almost not worth it! My clitoris gets sore easily even with lube and oral sex is mostly the only way I can climax, it takes such a lot of work I get really turned off. Why are some women built this way? I have spoken to others who have the same exact problems and they say it's gynecologic in nature and may be because our clitoris has no hood and the way we are 'wired' - I hear of women who can climax so easily what is wrong with me?

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EmpowHER Guest

Hi Anon,


Welcome to EmpowHER. Nearly all men can climax without difficulty, but women just aren't built that way. 

A woman's ability to climax tends to improve with age. Also, cuddling, romance and a good atmosphere can help. 

But if you feel not having any orgasms at all, or if you're still having enormous difficulty being able to climax you may want to seek some help from an experienced sex therapist.




April 17, 2013 - 3:41am
EmpowHER Guest

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April 16, 2013 - 11:21pm
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