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why do i get bored during sex?

By Anonymous March 17, 2011 - 2:06pm
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Hey! Im 23 years old I got married half a year ago with a guy 10 years older than me and before being married i used to date my husband for about 1½ years. And everything was great! I cant say if the sex is great because he was my first man having sex with. I realy dont know whats wrong with me coz i dont remember getting an ogasm when having sex, which i didnt care back then as long as he had 1 everytime we had sex! ½ a year since we got married, our sex life has changed too. We have sex 1-2 times a month which i hate so much we used to have sex every time when we where dating. I tried to talk to him but nothing has changed! So since it takes us a month to have sex, when we actually do it! I become soo bored! Its fun in the begining but then i get bored at some point. Is there any problem with me coz its been this way for a while now!

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EmpowHER Guest

Thanx guys i will try and do everything you told me! I really want my marriege to work! Thank you!

March 21, 2011 - 2:28am

I would also suggest reading some books, such as Hot Monogamy or other similar education-type books that can help put the desire and fun back into sex. This book also helps identify some problems, so you can work on solutions (either separately or together). There are many similar books, and if your husband is interested, you can go to the bookstore together and share this quality time together (which, in turn, can help create intimacy). Please know that most of these books talk about other issues that usually need to be worked on first, such as building trust, communication, intimacy....which can then lead to more fulfilling sex life. There are also suggestions for women to bring more creativity, surprise-elements and excitement back into the bedroom (instead of waiting for the man to come up with new positions, for example). Good luck!

March 20, 2011 - 11:37am

Hi Anonymus,
Maybe try bringing the fun back into it? My boyfriend and I have sort of the same problem but I know that when I talk to him about it in a more "let's try this together" attitude or let's just be really playful about it, he is always interested enough to give it a go. Maybe remove the focus from sex and more towards having fun and doing all the foreplay stuff and see where it goes from there? I know some guys feel pressured when women talk to them about sex because they feel insecure or like it is all there fault. I don't know if any of that helps but I wish you luck!!

March 19, 2011 - 12:05pm

Hi Anonymous,
Marriage can bring changes to a relationship. By this, I mean, unless you were living with your husband before you were married, now you are always together. There are now new stresses like paying bills together, how you spend money...money issues can put stress on a relationship and stifle the "fires of romance". Sharing or delegating household chores such as who does the laundry, who is responsible for housecleaning...are also stress factors.
Have you shared your feeling with your husband? Maybe creating a romantic mood or having a "date night" might bring a spark to your sex life. Plan a romantic evening with a candlelight dinner, mood music (no TV) and then indulge each other in foreplay before actually having sex.
Here is the link to articles that might be helpful :
As with any activity, to avoid boredom...try some creativity.
Good Luck!

March 17, 2011 - 4:39pm
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