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why do men who claim to have no libido and impotency cheat on their partners?

By Anonymous August 12, 2014 - 8:58pm
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My partner does not try ANYTHING AT ALL with me sexually or intimately. However we had sex twice when we first got together, im 15 years his juniour, attractive and very open minded/understanding. He stopped trying after a couple of failures but has continued to chase 'loose mwomen' behind my back for the attention AND paid for a prostitute on Mothers Day missing our special dinner day plans and not getting home til the early hours of the next day PENNILESS. He had gone as far as to plan 'next time' getting her private home and cell numbets and text her as hewas driving home to ask how she enjoyed what he gave her 'drugs' apparently. He is 57

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HERWriter Guide

Hi Anon

Thanks for your post and I am sorry that your relationship is so troubled. 

We cannot say why your partner behaves like he does - only he can tell you that. He may be depressed and looking for validation from another woman (even if she's a prostitute) or he may get sexual excitement from cheating and the adrenalin it gives him. 

Prostitutes don't really engage in chat and phone calls. They are in this as a business. They want money for sex and that's it. She may be more than a prostitute but a girlfriend - are you absolutely sure she's an actual prostitute? How does you know this? 

Since you have a child, I am not sure why you are staying with him. He could be bringing home diseases that can harm your health and he is certainly harming you emotionally and financially. This will reflect on your child too. 

It might be best to move on, Anon. Your partner is a lying cheat with no intention of working on your relationship. 



August 13, 2014 - 4:54am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Susan Cody)

We dont have a child, we have adult kids to different people who dont live with us. Prostitutes DO talk etc in New Zealand and often give out theor private numbers to get return business especially if they are in to drugs and the 'clieny' is happy to provide those.Also my partner is NOT that attractive or desirable, nor does he hardly ever go anywhere. This was on the way home from a flight to and back to the sth island to visit his daughter and grandchild so he had the opportunity to get a 'fit in' a trip to a whore house in the town the plane arrived before he drove the 3 hrs home

August 13, 2014 - 1:39pm
HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi again Anon

Some men prefer prostitutes - it's uncomplicated sex and a financial deal. She has what he wants and he has the money to pay for her services. I personally don't think this should be illegal but I do think it's completely and utterly wrong when the paying client is not single. In no way is this acceptable. 

So stop accepting it and kick him out. By your own account, you are young, attractive and a good catch and I'm sure you're right! Why are you putting up with this? He is your boyfriend, not your husband and you have no kids together. Analyzing a man's behaviors isn't going to help if he thinks what he doing is fine. It should be pretty simple to walk away, you have only been together a couple of years. . Put it down to a really bad experience.  No man is worth this kind of behavior. Be happy alone instead of angry and humiliated with him. 


August 13, 2014 - 2:28pm
EmpowHER Guest

By the way I waited over TWO YEARS of our 2 1/2 yr relationship for him to make some effort to have intimacy with ME only to discover chose to see a prostitute ON A SPECIAL OCCASION FOR ME just recently rather than bother to try with me.

August 12, 2014 - 9:02pm
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